all coaching

I see so many coaches out there. Wonderful profession but I wonder if we did take that too far.

All the movement on optimism, recharging, whatever, do we need this?
If we do, why?

Why can’t we be able to auto-recharge? I feel like the whole coaching industry is trying to cure a symptom and not an illness and therefore providing a cure that only last for a charge.
After the charge is gone, like a drug, you need more.

It doesn’t feel like a cure, more like an addiction, and how could you know the difference? What signals do we have to identify this as a problem and not as a solution when all the coaching industry shows is that they “give you a solution”?

It’s hard, honestly. I did follow and trusted most of the coaching industry and I’m not saying it’s all faulted.

But if you start thinking about the fact that you need to recharge, you need to participate to be again “happy”, then something must be wrong, some pieces are missing from the puzzle, and that piece that’s missing is your ability to autorepair yourself.

The ability to understand your errors, to learn and adapt. An ability that should be part of the human genome is now hidden by our fears, by our indecision.

Happiness is a formula that cannot be casted upon us.
We can enjoy moments with other people, but in the end happiness is a personal fact.

No coaching can teach you that.
They can give you good moments. But happiness can only be found outside of those moments, in the good and bad parts of life, by appreciating what you have and what you have not.

By not hiding the bad facts, by not living under the fake sun of fake-smile and by  learning that life will always be different for everyone.
No formula is needed, no solution required.

it’s not the error that counts

A phrase you hear often is that “you learn from your mistake”.
This somewhat implies that who you are is made, partly, by the mistakes you do.

You learn by them, and by adapting you grow.

But what if it’s not the mistake, the challenge in the path, that made you who you are?
What changes us is not the errors we learn from, but the choices we make after we make the error and learn it was a mistake.

Those choices defines us totally from there on. They become building blocks of our character.
More of them, and the character will build a stronger side.

Choices define us every day.

Choose wisely, because in every choice, even the smallest one, you are adding blocks to what you’ll become.

expectations of a wedding and a house

Two things in this life will show you how many expectations people have.

House and a wedding.

In both cases we always expect something bigger, stronger, larger.
We tend to expand like water, taking all the possible space, forgetting that we should live our life within our money boundaries to have a happier healthier life.

But no, in this cases everyone wish you all the best, by hoping you’ll spend more, and more, and more.

We got used to this, thanks to televisions, thanks to our parents that had more money than us.
This expectation therefore is set in stone, even though we should let it go and adapt, have the courage to change, to go our way.

caring for the work you do

There’s not much to learn about working. Often it all relates to making something meaningful and creating what you care fo.

Caring is not something that can be instilled, you either care or do not care.
There’s no money prize that can make the difference, no words, no fear.

Only if you care you can make your work relevant, and if you don’t, better change work.

seeking something not violent

We’re bombarded. By tv shows that appeal us using sex, violence, gore, and extreme drama.

Some of them ask rightful question, but they also use our “love” for these elements as a driver for their success.

What are the shows that don’t follow these rules? That create the need to watch it without adding the obvious sex, for example.

Today seems harder to find these kind of shows because it’s like everything revolves around them, and it’s quite a shame because we should move away from shows like this.

They haunt our attention by feeding our ghosts. It’s not fair.

how facebook hid our most beautiful emotions

Let’s say you went out with a couple of friends tonight.
Let’s say you really enjoyed it.

Well, what might happen is that when you get back home you write on facebook some melanchonic post like “And then you have _nights like this, beautiful, blalal”.

Who was the beneficiary of that post?
Who were you writing to?

Fact is, the real value of that post could be grasped only by the friends that were with you.
And what’s more depressing is that if you write it directly to them it would give meaning it would give power to the words you were saying.

Yes, saying it to the crowd make it more likely to get “Likes” but in this way we lost emotion.
Because a post like that was intended to create joy, and even if it does create a little bit of it, it’s an order of magnitude less than what it could be if it was written directly to the right people.

don’t judge a book by the cover, and never underestimate it

You might want to judge a person by the looks, by the way he acts, by his or her skills.

This will lead you to a perception of them.
Maybe then you’ll have a chance to talk with them and you’ll be more close to them.

But at this point you shouldn’t start underestimate them.

Keep always in mind your perception and maybe reevaluate them, but never take them lightly.
More often than not you’ll end up regretting it, not because they’ll trick you, not because you might be seen as weak, but because you might overlook what’s important.

A work relationship is that: Work.