body changes

Let’s say you meet someone, you fall in love with them or you start having a high respect for them.

Then you discover they went under plastic surgery.
They changed their body.

Now, it seems perfectly fine nowadays to accept that people do plastic surgery, right? It’s normal.
We started shifting the way we think from “we are part of this world” to “we control the world”, or at least this became part of our expectation.

We somewhat expect the world to change based upon our will, instead of us changing based upon the world.

And you know what was the main skill that made humanity so powerful?
Adaptability.

PS: Bottom line question: if they weren’t able to accept themselves and felt the need to change their body, how can they accept you?

the  work you don’t do

There is some kind of hidden work. A kind of work you can’t define yet you do.

The non work.

It’s a strange work and it happens when you don’t do what you think you were supposed to do, like in my case developing software, and instead you do something else, like managing people, helping other.

It does feel like you’re skipping work and to some extend that is true, but it’s not the whole story. 

I believe the thing here is that what we truly miss is the ability to do what we thought was our work.

Accepting is a hard part of this topic because it all starts with not accepting the new kind of work we’re entitled to.

nazism isn’t over

One of the things that worries me so much about nazism is that we think we are better, that we won’t do the same mistake.

The problem, though, is that we didn’t take a vaccine against nazism. We are obviously against its results but what can we say about our ability to avoid that outcome?

We think we are immune to it, but in fact there is no direct learning that we had in the past to prove that we have stepped up from the level that made nazism possible.

Thinking like this doesn’t allow us to be critic towards ourselves and to try to understand if we would be vulnerable to the kind of thinking that made nazism possible.
What allowed nazism to flourish in the beginning was the ultimate idea, and the fascination of,  that we could build a better world by sacrificing a small piece of our individual humanity.

This is the part we are not immune of. Right now we still think that there is a Top-Level citizen and a Low-level citizen, and that we deserve to be in the top one.
We think there are countries that are “less worthy”, not from a money point of view.
We think that there are people better than others.

That there is a clear distinction between the good people (implicitly “us”) and the bad ones.
And while I could even agree that from a human standpoint there are more altruistic people, more egoistic one, people more inclined to doing good and other more inclined to hurt the society, this still doesn’t allow thinking that we can sacrifice people for a greater good.

That greater good that sound so fantastic, that dream, is what nazism was partly about, it was the concept, the idea, that we could split the world into the worthy and the unworthy, was the distinction between “ours” and “them”, but we were all born equals.

The greater good is learning that we are all the same people under this big roof called earth.
Accepting that, and learning that there is a slippery slope that will try to trick us into thinking we are so better  (while we’re not), is the second step.

sustain your actions

I was in a ryanair air flight yesterday and the stuart started making some jokes with one of the hostess..
There were 2 stuart in that moment and what happened is that they “settled”, by forcing her to do something while joking.

As men, I think we do this quite often. We use the herd to force decisions onto other people and, what’s even worse, we use jokes to feel less guilt.

I think that guilt should be a signal. If we are unable to sustain your actions, to live through them, then you’re trying to hide the guilt, and if you’re doing that, chances are you’re already commiting some kind of “crime”.

Be honest and live through each and every action, because you’ll take them together with you.

skill are everchanging

What skills do you have? Maybe you’re used to value them based on what you write on paper, confronting them with another list, maybe a bigger list of words.

Yes, words matter, because you should know them. But a skill is not made of words alone, there’s more than it meets the eye.

A skill is your ability to interpret a problem, to think through it, to manage the stress or find a compromise. A skill is something that can hardly be defined and written into a CV, mostly because this kind of skill isn’t something you can describe.

It’s your culture, it’s your vision, it’s how you interact with the world, it’s made by the values you believe in and the things you cannot accept.

This, as a whole, is your skill.

the courage to stick

You need courage to show up each day, do the work, and do it well.

You need courage and good communication to do it everyday, because each day the lazyness will kick in, you’ll forget the goals, and your so called ambition will slow down unless you have big stakes.

Or maybe it’s not about courage. It’s about persistence, endurance.

showing up on time

It takes courage to show up on time, to be always ready, to do the work and be available.

But this is part of what makes good people great, their persistence, their ability to stick with the plan, to not let the ship wreck, to do their best job and showing up also on the worst moments of life.

help your customer

A base rule in marketing and business is that you must solve a problem, or in simple words: help someone.

It strikes me that, as a customer, I often write to customer services and don’t get help.

And in those case help cannot be in any way given, I don’t even get some kind of empathy.
I wonder, what are we missing?

I wonder if in italy we still have to understand the value of an online customer. We’re still the same, and we act just like anyone else.

what the others can see that you cannot

There may come a time when you think you’re not enough.
Not beautiful enough, not intelligent enough.

A time when life is ok but not enough, when something is missing.
Maybe love, maybe friendship, maybe a satisfying job.

When that time comes you might start wondering what is left for you in this world? What should you do with this life.
Is it worth it?

Or maybe you’ll end up wondering why you can’t have what you want. Why life seems to not care about you, why the world doesn’t give you the attention you deserve.
Because you had the chance to try that life. The life you like, but now that life is gone and there is no way to grasp it another time.

It belongs to a past which you don’t belong to anymore.
A past you can’t rewind to.

It’s filled with melancholy, with sadness created by the empty space between who we are and what we want to be, the space between the old life we liked, the life we have and the life we dream about.

Seneca, though, add something to this recipe that should give us direction in those moments of lost.
Many people always wait ’till they start living, they wait till they have enough money, enough love.
Some of them may die even before start living.

It’s a big teaching, because it teaches us the importance of what we have and how we should treat it and consider it.
What we have now is more important that what we can have and it’s more real that what we had. Because it’s the only thing that truly exists: our only present.