free as in beer?

Free wifi is very similar to every free offer you can find online and in real life.

Sometimes things are good, you find a deal that’s free and that let you benefit of the best things.
In the other case the free is just a gimmick. A way to attract visitors.
It’s the same unbeatable offer that gives you nothing for some info.

And as such it’s not free. You have to pay to get in.
Yes, you don’t pay in money, so the “free” word is allowed, but you pay with another currency, your information.

Sensitive information, the same information you’d likely avoid to give.
To do what then? Here’s the issue: we don’t know.

It would be amazing if we had the chance to know beforehand what goals our information will help them achieve.
If only to understand if my email or my zip code are useful to help you out understanding what kind of people get into your shop, or if they are sold to third party companies.

The paranoid can argue that even in this case they might change their mind and in the future change the destination of our sensitive data.
He’s right, but this would still be a great start.

the way you talk

The way you talk is all about how you connect with others.

It’s up to you to leave a trace of connection, to allow others to resonate with you.
When you talk you always got a choice, you always got a way to do it nicer than you think you need.

And it’s not about the difficulty, it’s not about who you’re talking to.
These options always exists.

When you’re on the other side, though, it happens to wonder if you did deserve this or not. Both if you are confronted with an extreme kindness or an harsh reaction.
You can’t know though if you really deserved, but whatever the case, there is no easy solution to this.

A good way to start it to listen.
Even if it hurts.

people will suprise you

In both ways.

There will be people who will give you their best. That will delight your day, that will go the extra mile.

And you’ll also get the one that will make your day harder no matter what.

It’s up to you to decide how much of their actions will impact your mood.
How much they will decide your life it’s totally up to you.

coming back

There’s a strange saying in italian.
When you move in a new home some people in Tuscany won’t ask you when you’ll go live there, but they’ll ask you instead “when you come back?”

It’s so strange. They ask you when you’ll transfer to the new home as if you always lived there.
I wonder if there’s some origins to this saying, or if it’s just a change in the language that produced this.

Whatever the outcome, I feel a lot of melancholy when I hear it, mostly because it reminds me of “coming back”.
The past, the things you lived, the things you left.

the life you didn’t live

Stop for a second and think about what it means to move into a new house.
You start by packing up all the things you have in the old one, all the good memories, the photos, the kitchen tools you use daily and so on.

The life you live each day becomes slowly packed into neat little boxes that you will transfer and unpack into your new home.
But while you pack them, objects will appear.
Things you didn’t expect, like dresses you didn’t wear in the last year, or photos you don’t know if you want to keep them or not.

Numbers of people you didn’t call, unread magazines and unopened gifts.

While continuing packing your home a new elements appear: the life you didn’t live.
So many options, so many things left alone in boxes you will probably forget about.

What would it be of you if you had taken a different path?
What would have been your life if you had used that gift?

Nobody knows, but while you pack you’ll have to decide if you want to keep them lingering around for another while or not.
And whatever the decision you make, you’ll have plenty of boxes.
Some of those boxes will stay closed for a long time.
Even if they contained life you did live.

The next time you’ll move houses you’ll find a box, full of things you thought you needed, but that you forgot about.
And in an instant, the life you lived, has become the life you stopped living.

february 2017 monthly recap

In february I slacked, like a lot, but this should be a warning to me to remind myself to not lose my habits.

It’s clear that once you stop keeping the habit it’s always easier to lose it.
Lately there have been some busy days and I literally had no time to think about it, let alone produce some decent content.

Outside of this, we’re moving homes. The whole moving has started and I hope to be finished by the end of march.
If not, I’ll be in trouble 😀

That said, I still managed to write something in this month and at least for me these are my favourites

how do you make a movie that stands the test of time?

I just watched the movie Mediterraneo, which is more than 20 years old and I was pleasantly surprised from the movie.

Even though it’s clearly and old movie, you can watch it quite well.

So I wondered: what makes a movie stand the test of time?

Many of the blockbuster we see right now won’t probably be there in 10 years, let alone 20.
We go by mood and go with the flow, that’s why they won’t probably survive a decade.

But what about the others? What did they do right?
Looking at this movie there was no fancy direction, it was a simple movie that touched profound topics with lightness.

I think what makes it tick is the pace, the characters, which are not overly complex, nor ordinary, yet they do have enough character to make them look very real.
Also the characters are human and act like a human would do.

In other movies character are often defined by extreme behaviors, excessive need of power and so on. They are not real, nor they feel real.

Making a good movie requires you to put normal people into a marvelous situation to narrate it.

it takes courage to say you can’t do it

It takes courage to admit that you can’t do it, that you have limits.

It takes courage to admit that you’re wrong.

It takes courage to do all this and still live happily after without thinking you’re a horrible person.

It takes courage to be upfront and honest and to admit your feelings.

We’ve been invaded by the image of strong characters in movies, people that fail but yet will prevail.
No one in the movies admit this. They do it always later, after the storm, after they’ve won.
They don’t do it during the struggle.

And guess what? It’s during the struggle that matters.

It’s admitting that you can’t do it and still fight for it that it’s hard.
It’s saying your limits, your issues, your feelings while life’s a shit, that’s hard.

While I write all this I can’t stop thinking that the words “saying your limits while life’s a shit” can be applied in 2 ways.

  1. you feel the struggle, you know it’s hard and you know that admitting publicly that you can’t do it will make you look like a shitty person, yet you do it.
  2. you want to be cuddled, you are self-pitying and want to have more attention and so you admit that life’s a shit.

What’s the difference?
One needs courage.

how to ask for a favour

Today I asked a dear friend a favour. Well, not really a favour, but I wanted her to be the one making the photos at my wedding.

And it was hard, because I wanted to express all the gratitude, all the magic that led me to wish for this.
It was hard because she’s a friend, and I didn’t want her to put into a strange situation.

But yet, I did ask her.
And to do it I tried to put it simply, ask her and tell her why it’s important to me, why I like her style, why she should take time to evaluate the decision and consider it from all the point of views.

It went well, although she didn’t still say yes. But it was good.

Asking for help is something to be learned, and I hope I can improve over and over again, by being even more empathetic, even more resonant with the person I’m talking to.

Too often I’ve missed their emotions, and I hope to learn as fast as I can how to recognize them.