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Month: May 2015

living with guilt

I feel guilty sometimes.
This usually happens when shit happens, like arguing, like a bad discussion.

I would have never wanted to live a situation like a harsh argue, but who would?
Every time it happens I wonder if I could have been better, and every single time the answer is yes, I could’ve done better.

I believe this is true for everyone, we are the variable in the equation of our life, we are the ones who can make a difference in the course of events, that’s why we can always do better.

But we don’t, and I didn’t.
I just went with the flow, as it has happened many times before, and after that all I got was some guilt.
I felt guilty, I feel guilty.
I feel guilty because I didn’t respect my potential, I let the events decide for me.
Deep inside I knew it wasn’t a good decision, but the outcome was very clear, I chose that over a more human resolution, a resolution that wouldn’t involve pride.

But all in all, I really feel guilty because I lowered down my potential, my energy and what I am and want to be.
I missed an opportunity to become a better human in this world, and that opportunity won’t come again.
There will be others, but that single lonely chance is vanished forever.

I also believe it’s alright to think about guilt and its implications. What other way do we have to improve if we don’t review our actions?

We need to measure ourselves with our best part, and then do the next move.

there’s a reason why fear will always stop you

On June 2nd, the EU Cookie law will become effective.
This is a law that requires every site owner to put a warning, sometimes a disruptive one, to inform users of cookie usage.

In case the usage of cookies tracks the user personal data then it is imperative for the notice to be as much disruptive and different from the website style as possible.

This is making many people freak out.
It’s understandable because the Law language is not understandable.

We don’t talk the way legal documents talk, because it’s inhuman.
Therefore when we have to interact with a law that has such a wide audience we are scared.

Scared because we don’t understand, scared because we fear the consequences.
Some people even shut down their websites in order to feel safe.

Only because of one single law.

This is the power of fear, the power of the unknown, but more than the unknown is that Law, and legal documents are something beyond the “normal human”, and they also add one spice to our dish, the “responsible” spice.

Who will be responsible for this?
That’s the freezing question.
No one wants to be responsible for doing nothing.
I just installed analytics to see how many visitors I have, how could I have been responsible of tracking users?

There’s a fine line here, the website owner just wants some stats, a number.
222 visits today.

That’s what matters to him (I’m talking about the simplest case).
But the analytics is much more than that and now he has become responsible without him truly understanding the consequences.

I don’t think this is a bad law, but I do think things might have been done better.
This law doesn’t move towards improving the web experience, which is why I consider it imperfect.
The web can’t be just controlled by this, we need something adaptable, flexible, otherwise many people fears will control the future of the web, making it useless, inaccessible, worse.

we should plan for life

Today I thought that we too often forget to plan for the life we want and desire.

Many things we need aren’t actually very needed, and in fact we can trade much of them for things that are way better in our life.

Planning requires making choices, defining what you want and work towards making it a reality.
Will you be willing to make that change?

1% every day

Today I started a new journey towards a small side project, one that could really change many parts of my life.

I might fail badly, but it will be an experience that’s worth the try.
When I think about it I always recall that old advice: “just improve 1% every day, and by the end of the year you’ll be rich”.

Improving by such a small percentage sounds like a silly thing to do, we are all fascinated by 2 decimal numbers, or even more, but behind those numbers there’s always a different story, a story we might not even be part of.

The story of big organizations with big money, the story of one person’s luck, or the story of an excellent skill set.

That said, I believe in the common ones, the normal people, the one that aren’t special.
I believe that any of them (of us), has a possibility in this world, to do things worth seeing.

We have been told to search for the geniuses, because they are such a good story to tell, what nobody tells us is to look for the common ones, the rich that aren’t on newspapers, the great minds no one has ever heard of.

For the common ones talking about 1% improvement is not a big deal, but over a year, even for them, it might make the difference between success and failure.

I wish you a 1% better day every day, I wish you to do the same with yourself, improve every single day by a small fraction, so you’ll always be better.

why arguing will rob you of life

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a harsh argument with a friend?

How did you feel? Did you get that drain of energy once it was over? or did you continue thinking about it if you paused it for a second?

I think about arguing, a lot.
I mean… we as human tend to argue and the reason behind this for some people is that we just want to prove our point.
Why we feel this need is often a mystery, respect, honor, power, whatever. Doesn’t really matter since the consequences of this are much worse than the act itself.

While you argue you feel powerful. Energy is flowing into your body, you wake up if you were sleepy and you start debating with an enormous energy.

Once the argument is over, much like an orgasm for  a man, you are drained of all that energy, you feel exhausted.

That energy, that time, where did it go?
Did we used it for a greater good? Or was it just some selfish need?

I, sadly, think we mostly follow selfish needs in this case.
That’s why every moment you spend arguing it will rob your life forever.

I don’t have a solution to this, aside from advising to be more modest, more timid, more human.
To respect other views and accept that people have different opinions.
And accept that, for some unknown reasons, we might be wrong even though we are absolutely sure we are right, and that the path to discovering this is much worse than accepting a dissenting opinion.

can you start from zero again?

Starting from zero takes some courage.

You need to redo the basics, to learn the fundamentals and be human again.
You have to accept that you’ll be the last, that the road is long, that you still have to learn.

Starting from zero doesn’t require knowledge, everyone at any point in their life can do it, but not many people choose this task because it’s so frightening.

We love feeling safe, and the idea that we might get what we really want scares us because we might totally fail.
But maybe it’s worth the try.

is it better to respect our time or other peoples time?

I am always stuck with this question.

The answer is quite obvious: Our time should be more precious, mostly because it’s our life that we are talking about.

But I can’t stop thinking that we should respect other people’s time more.
Take this example: You’re commuting to work, but there’s a long queue.
Up ahead, in front of the queue there’s a worker guiding a small truck, going slowly because the truck itself is not allowed to go faster.

He is doing his job, he’s not doing any harm (aside from making you late), and lastly: he’s obeying the rules.

Everything is perfect aside from the fact that you are waiting for him and you can’t surpass it because it would be too risky.

It would probably take him less than 1 minute to move aside and flush the queue but it won’t be the case.

Asking again the first question about which time should be respected, does the answer comes so easily now?
I guess not.

Should the worker stop or should he put his work first? I would say his work, but when you’re in the queue (like I was) you wonder
If it does take so little so simplify other people lives why wouldn’t he do it?

I guess it all comes down to the same question and the same answer.

Also, it’s all about balancing, there’s no easy way or perfect solution.
You can’t define life, but you can help other people and be a bit more empathic with their life.

getting the most with the least is not easy, but it works

Sometimes all you need to kick off a project is the least.
A small change in your routine.

It might be just the device’s fault. You might be using an old pc and since it’s so old and slow you might delay what you have been planning.

It takes guts to recognize that.
Luckly we can fix it.

With a bit of thinking and self-thought you can discover what’s the hole in your life, the paralyzing venom.
To do that accept the fact that there will be holes in your life, and some of them can be quite fixable.

Arrange time, space and services to help you out.

Time

Make time for your goals, start small, increase every day without filling your life

Space

Choose a place, make it the place where you’ll create/work/whatsoever.

Services

Need a pc? Buy it.

Need a new modem? Buy it.

Whatever you need, make it sure you have it.
If it does costs too much, scale down, replace it and schedule the money so one day you’ll buy it.

Then start.

respect the world you live in

I was in my favourite Pizza place, one of the  best around here, and I got to talk with the wonderful Antonio, a man from the south of italy who also got the chance to travel the world, specifically germany, and work there.

He said “I was lucky because I got to come back to italy before it’s too late”
Late for what? I say
“If you stay to much in a place, then you’ll live there. Family, wife, all things will sort of bond you with the place, and I was lucky because italy is such a wonderful place”
It is, but how are you finding yourself here? Is it a good city?

I was asking this to know what does he thinks of Montevarchi, some people hate it, some people are ok with it.

“Montevarchi is great” he said “you have everything at hand, everything is near.”

He kept talking until he told me one of the most beautiful things I have heard in life, really inspiring.
In italy we have a saying that goes like this “don’t spit on the plate where you eat”.
It means respect the place that pays your bills.

Antonio moved this saying even further
“You must respect the place where you live , because, yes, you’ll be staying there every single day for a long time, and if you live in the shit, it ain’t good”.

Respecting the work or the job wasn’t enough for him, he respected the city too, and I agree.
Respecting our surroundings, or even the world, is a great thing.