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Month: August 2015

old errors

I find it easy to blame it on myself when things go wrong and I’m the main culprit.

I guess many people do this way.
What fascinates me is that my mind goes round and round and start thinking about things like “can we really learn from our errors?”

Having written 2 days ago about this same topic I feel this is a bit of a failure, but I can’t stop thinking that yes, we can learn from failure, but learning is hard and takes time.

is there an actionable part in the news?

We all watch tv news, to know what’s happening, right?
Or we read newspapers, web news, whatever.

More often than not these things are really interesting, they’re nice and make you want to read more, that’s their format.
The thing I ask to myself is this: Are those actionable informations?

I wondered why are we so interested in receiving news, and personally I can identify myself with the need to be update with what’s happening.
To be in the loop.

Much like the FOMO (fear of missing out) that Facebook somewhat created, this need for being updated is similar.
I find this need visceral, somewhat coming from an unknown part of me.

Thinking about it I realize that much of the information I receive isn’t actionable. The only action the information can give us if we are in danger, other than that even the political information is just useful for having an opinion, although you could also conclude that it would be way better to just consider the claim vs the reality after 5 years of a politician.

Well, of course this information could be actionable if we plan to do a parade about rights or equality, but I find these things even less common nowadays.

So, the question I’m left with is this:
Is it worth listening/reading the news? I’m puzzled.

are we bounded to stay the same or can we -really- change?

I wonder if there’s a slightly chance that we, as humans, as people, can change.
Not a change in lifestyle but a change in culture, emotional culture and character.

Many many years ago I was stuck in a discussion with a friend, I was saying that we can all change, while he was saying that we all stay the same.

His argument was that, no matter what, deep inside you’ll always be the same, you won’t change.
You might change how you dress, how you react, but deep inside yourself you’ll still be the same.

After some years he agreed that we all change, he agreed that it’s common, that he too changed and realized it later on.
But what if he was right?

I still think that we all change. That’s why many relationships ends. We change and the relation doesn’t grow with us.
Or the way we change is no more compatible with the partner, so we part ways.

What if (and I’m absolutely fantasizing here) we have many levels of change, some more superficial, some more deep inside ourselves that we can’t even define?
What if those deep waters hide an unchanged version of ourselves?

I always say that we, as grown-ups, have our own Karma. Not from an esoteric point of view (although it is very near conceptually), but from a behavior point of view.
Maybe you’re the type that gets angry too fast, and maybe you learn to deal with that, and you  are superficially changed.
One day you’ll live a stressful day at your job, then come home and you see your partner angry shouting at you.
Then what? How will you use those years trying to not be angry? Will those years be useful or will you just forget them?

A feeling deep inside, in the darkest places of your personality, might just take control.
That old, familiar feeling of you.
The old you.

Suddenly you realize it was there all along, hiding behind the curtains of life, waiting for the right moment.
You didn’t win the war, just many battles and it still stands, it will wait again until the next occasion.

After losing control another time, you might wonder “Did I really change or was I faking it?”
The questions won’t have an answer, nobody has an answer for such things, for as we know you might as well be faking it from the start.

But maybe not. Maybe you did change, but you didn’t change completely.
Maybe there’s still work to be done.

Why did I say “Karma”?
Because this little dark side of you will stay there for many years before it’s gone, and you will have to face its consequences.
If you get angry, chances are you’ll piss off many people, so that’s why I say Karma.

How to fight our dark side?
There’s no recipe for this, but you can be sure that it’s on those moments where you face your old self that it’s the right time.
You have to stay in control, to do what you really want to do, to live through your words.

After years the demons might be still there, and you might not even win the battle in your entire life.
Was it worth it? You might ask.

Feel free to experience your answer.

keep it up until you’ve finished

Sometimes it might feel that the world is not helping you with the work you do.
It’s so big, so never-ending that you even wonder if you can polish it enough, because it’s never “enough”.

If the project should have an ending, than it’s ok to create a progression that leads to the normal conclusion.
Ideally the progression should have small, completable steps that you can handle with no worries, avoiding the “big releases” that scares everyone.

Then you resist until you’ve finished.
There’s no easy way out, you keep it up, you stay in the game and show up, until the end.
Even if it rains, even if you don’t want, and you should also resist to the temptation to slack a bit, unless you’re about to go in burnout mode.

That’s my recipe. And I’m not perfect because I have obviously gone against these rules many times, but writing them helps me creating a sort of “rule book”. Not something to live by, but something I trust and try to follow at my best.

I am not passionate about rules, but right here I’m more inclined to say that these are just some “ways of life”, some takes on how to approach things.
Some might be good, some might not be, but that’s part of the game.

make the choice with your head, not with fears

Fear is always a bad advisor.
Fear will make you choose for the fastest, not for the better.

Fear only considers the short term.
Fear doesn’t consider our ability to adapt.

Fear is and will always be there, we will always get the feeling that we should follow her advice.
Our job is to stop listening when it’s not right.
By the way: our job is NOT to be fearless. Fear is a good thing. It’s a moment of understanding.

don’t make a fool of your customers, they’re not stupid

These days a new advertising can be heard every day on the radio.
It’s about a new car and some discounts.

The advertising starts with the intro of a famous song, one that we already hear often on the radio, there’s no voice, no narrator, nothing. It’s just a song.
After about 6 to 10 seconds, the ad starts with something along these lines
And now the new summer-hit
Then the ad really starts.

I felt like they were playing with me, with my attention, with my intelligence, and I guess I’m not alone.

If you fool your customers clearly, how can you expect them to trust you?
When making an advertising don’t try to fool somebody, try to give them value, to make them laugh, to keep things interesting.

But please, don’t make a fool of them.
Respect them, because marketing isn’t about getting attention, it’s about sending the right message to the right person.

Marketing it’s about communication of values, about entertainment and pleasure.
If you make your customer feels like idiots they’re not your customers anymore, they’re your enemies.

the price of idleness

The price of idleness is the same price you pay for lying.
It grows on you.
The more idle you are, the more idle you get.

It’s not about laziness, it’s about not wanting to do, to try, to change.
The price of idleness is the inability to have a past, because every day will be the same, and it will sum up to just one day, identical from time to time.

You won’t have something else to remember.

honor your word

The best way to improve what you say, to make sure that what you say will come “true” is to honor your word.

There’s no shortcut for this, and honoring your word is very much a way to respect yourself and the people around you.
If you say that you’ll help your friend cleaning up the garden but then you don’t show up, how good is that?
Not good, right?
That’s respect, and it starts with the simplest thing, honoring the words you say.

James Altucher takes it even further, by trying to say only a precise number of words in a day.
This force him to evaluate anything he says so that the words aren’t wasted.

It’s a nice way to solve the problem, but you can also you the simplest route: do what you say, every time, everywhere, no exception.