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Month: February 2016

how do you measure “life”?

“We act like an old couple”
“They doesn’t seem to love each other”

Both these two phrases are an example of how we measure the life we see.
We measure it through pre-packaged ideas.
When you look back, 50 years ago, everything is different, but everything also stayed the same because even then they had their own prepackaged perspectives that led how they saw life itself.

Mass media amplified this with tools like books, tv, magazines.
These tools became our lenses through which we see the world, we measure it through them to understand if we are on the right track.

But how can this lead to happiness if we’re always comparing ourselves with an ideal standard?
I agree that we should strive for the best ,but is it ok for the best to be defined by mass media?

We are individuals and as such we need our identity and more importantly we need to be able to express it without any fear.
If, by any chance, your identity conflicts with the ideal standard then chances are you will feel like you don’t belong.

The concept of I don’t belong here, the concept of not being part of this whole society, is a tricky one. It’s hard to define the line where it’s ok to not belong, but one thing is sure: If the sense of not belonging starts because you’re comparing yourself to a product of mass media then you should think twice.
Your identity is much more important than a magazine.

when things change

When you grow older some things you loved aren’t that interesting anymore.
Maybe you loved going out and watch a movie every thursday, maybe you loved going to the disco.

What changed, how?
Priorities, perspective, and deepness changes.

Priorities because what was important before (finding a girl? being drunk? whatever) now it’s less important.

Perspective is how you look at things into the future. This means that the more you grow, the more you think about how doing something might change you, how it will influence you, how much will you gain from it in terms of growth, happiness, joy.

Deepness is how much deeper you go into understanding an action or a situations.
Let’s take the drunk example.
It’s no wonder that in many parts of our life we drunk too much, why was that?
Maybe we were running, maybe we wanted to shield from some feelings. Whatever the reason, the thing is that at that time we didn’t really understood it.
Now we do, and this puts a lot of weight in how we choose to do things.

We (sometimes, obviously) go deeper into understanding what moves us and this also helps us in saying no because now we know how much we get hurt by doing stupid things.
And while we might want to do the stupid things to feel part of the group we also understand that our individuality is much more important, not because we’re being selfish, but because we have to live with it, we have to stand behind our actions 100% of the time.

“what moves us”, is something I realized just now writing is the representation of how we understand the world and ourselves.
If we get to know what moves us then the rest of the world is no secret.

If you know why you truly want to do something, everything else follows.

the days when you do too much

Today was one of those days where I got flooded with request at work.
Days like this are hard to love, mostly because you’re everywhere, but you’re nowhere near being effective.

The more the mind change subject, the less you are able to go deep into problems.
This is a common element in the web development world and it’s something I think about from time to time.

There is no easy solution. If your company requires you to be so important then you’re out of luck. Chances are you can’t escape the maze.
But on the other hand you can try to teach people, or to find a way to let them be autonomous.

This way you can be free at least a bit more.
In my case it’s more of casual happening. It happens from time to time. Lately less, and I’m loving the time I spend only writing code, I missed it.

what’s the worst thing it could happen?

These days I was quite stressed out.
Everything was moving so fast I didn’t know what to do.

The first thing I did was to ask for help. I felt powerless and I knew for sure that I could get some help from my friends, and I was right.
But the overwhelming fear didn’t go away.

I feared this situation because I have to let down some people request. I have to say “wait” to others.

Today I realized that we all way. The worst thing it could happen is nothing.
Maybe some people won’t wait maybe some other will.
Nothing would really destroy my life, so I can go on freely.

I remember this because I thought about stoicism and it would probably be a safe bet to act a bit stoic in this situations.
It was a good bet.

the temptation to give up

We all have the temptation to give up.

To give up writing, to stop doing that diet, to not do our best.
Giving up is always the easiest thing to do, that’s why our mind perceives it as a fast flawless solution.

But precisely because it’s easy, it won’t be the best solution.
The difference between those who do things and those who fail at doing them is this moment. The moment when you decide which side you’re on.

Take a breath, risk.

spend less, earn more

Lately I’ve been fascinated by the idea of financial independence.
Something I always tried to grasp but never got to achieve.

One of the things you’ll see in reddit or forums about it, specifically if we are talking about “fast” financial independence, is that spending less is quite a good way to “earn” more money.

I agree with this and find that spending less is also a great way to find the things you don’t really need.
We are bombarded by the idea that we should buy a lot but it’s not required.
We don’t need to spend lots of money in drinks, clothes, whatever.

What we need is to understand our priority, and take decisions from there on.

how to organize without overthinking

I am a quite organized guy but it’s hard to be organized because you often go too far and organize the useless.

Why?
The beauty of organize something, of being “in place” is all about control, taking control of what can happen, being able to predict the outcome.

Organization is all about having a situation under your control all the time.
It’s a pleasure because it relieves you from the pain of the unknown.

Since it’s so beautiful it’s easy to fall into the trap of over-organizing.
Organizing useless tasks is a common thing, and it’s quite a waste of time.

To me the main rule to decide if it’s good to have a better grasp of a situation and to organize it is this:
“Will I pragmatically benefit if I keep it ordered?”

If not, then it’s useless.