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Month: December 2016

the guide we seek

We are always hunting for new articles, new resources, new tools and techniques to improve, isn’t it?

The new year resolutions are part of this process. You want to change because you feel constrained, limited, while your ideal self would be limitless, powerful, rich.

Therefore a guide is needed, because how in the world do you expect to change if you didn’t have a clue right now?
After all, if you could change by yourself you would’ve done it months ago, right?

Therefore we seek new truths in articles, tutorials, guides, workshops, online programs and so on.
Tutorial to guide us in the process of reaching our goals, of being the ideal self we always dreamed and, _eventually, reach the inner peace.

In all this process sometimes we forget to ask ourselves the question: “What am I doing wrong? What does my body/mind says?”
Listening to yourself, analyzing what you do, thinking about your life, is a missing step.

We want teachings, but we forget to understand ourselves, the only medium that’s got to change.
And if we want to change maybe it’s worth a shot.
Maybe listening to what our body says, our mind says, would help us understand.
Maybe looking at what you did in a year will allow you to find the pitfalls of your behaviour.

Yes, a new strategy might help you out and it might make a change.
But what’s the price of being able to discover it by yourself?
What’s the price of being able to adapt with no guidance at all?
To improve, with no tutorials, guides whatsoever?

There are so many things we have learned with no guidance, with no help, and we don’t remember them because most of them are not skill we consider “worthy”.
But we nonetheless learned them.

Maybe it’s time to look as if we are the first day at a new office for a new work.
Everything is possible, we know nothing, but we know we can learn it.

social smoking

I’m not a smoker, but I have to admit that I love smoking shisha with friends.

It’s not about the smoke itself, although pleasant. It’s about the social aspect of it. Passing the hose from person to person, talking and relaxing. It’s one of those rituals I love.

We should build more of these rituals that allow us to enjoy life and passing it with the people we like.  More board games, less drinking.

More talking, less chatting.

the not so easy thing

There’s no easy way out. Some things are hard. Telling the truth is sometimes hard, but that’s what you’ve got to do.

To be honest, to tell the truth, even if it hurts. To treat others with respect and give them a chance to understand what you’re saying.

Limiting the information is effective only when you can escape the situation and even in those cases is not something that will help you in the future.

Be open.

as long as you choose there are not bad choices

Today I’ve had the pleasure to talk to a colleague that I highly respect.
He told me about the old company he worked for, many people left, but some stayed there, keeping the company up and working.

It’s a hard business, and things go down faster than you can predict (when they do). he told me.
Yet he also said to me that if the people stayed in the company for a good reason, then it’s not a bad choice, as long as you know why you are staying.

The issue lies with people not being aware of their choices. We often choose by chance or destiny, leaving the choice to other people.
But if we are informed and aware, no choice is bad.
Yes, other people might not agree, and that’s alright.
We have a vision and in that vision that choice fits.

Want to change work? If you are aware of what’s happening all’s good.
Change life? same as before.

Every decision can be good as long as you know what are you going after and as long as you don’t lie to yourself.

the hard thing about christmast

We should be better for christmas, right? More good, nice, treat others with kindness and so on.

It’s hypocrite to think we can go on like this, and it’s not christmas fault. It’s ours.

Christmas is a nice moment when we all reunite, but we must do more, more to help, more to treat, more to be gentle.
It’s useless if we stick to being good for one day, we should do it again and again, fight every single damned day against that inner will that wants us to react badly, to act without thinking, to reply with bad manners.

We can do it, some people already do this and no wonder they’re doing good. It might take time and it might also take some humility because it requires you to lower down the ego, to think more of others than yourself without sacrificing self-respect.

the difference between destiny and happening

Some things happens.
Like the red light, like the man that crosses your street.

The strange thing about this is those coincidence feel like curses from time to time.

When you get all red semaphores, you feel like the world is conspiring against you.
We don’t believe in destiny yet we have this feeling that something is against us.

There are days when those red semaphore aren’t an issue, what changed?
Our mind, our emotions, they are different.

Those difference account to how we perceive an happening.

no palm oil, but yes petrol

Some prefer to avoid palm oil.

It destroys the world, they say, and they’re right. Palm oil is often abused, the way it’s produced needs to be more in control, we all need to be more aware.

That said, palm oil is a fraction of the problem.

What about petrol? You’re still driving your car, aren’t you?
How do you plan to get rid of that?

Leaving palm oil seems quite easy. It’s all about choosing different products, but did you think about what will change once the production will shift to different products?
other oils are less efficient than palm oil, it means that once the same amount of production will be required because people are buying it, we’ll use up to 7 times the space we’d need with palm oil.

And we’re yet to touch the issue.
The issue is that leaving palm oil, as I said, it is easy. You don’t sacrifice a thing.
You switch and that’s all.

But what about petrol, or other things in your life that damage the world.
What about the chinese shirt or gadget that you buy?
People died for that. How do you think it’s possible to get for 1€ something that would be priced at least 5 times more?
They’re are not making us a favour because they’re generous. They are abusing of people and you’re contributing to this.

And your car? Oh, reducing palm oil is fine, but driving is ok too right? Or eating meat, or whatever.

We can change products, but if you look closely the problem will still remain and you know what?
We are the problem. That’s why it won’t go away.

The change must not be in what we buy but in how we buy and in how much we consume, how much food we trash before using it, how much useless things we buy.

All those things require a big shift in the way you think and that is why it’s so difficult.
You can’t just switch to another product.

unexpected

Some times things go right. Life goes on.

Today maybe a new day for me and my gf as it marks a new step towards a new home.

We were worried about the many things that didn’t go as expected, but some did work well, and now we’re delighted.

There are still many issues left, but going one step at a time is reassuring.

easy to forget

It’s easy to slack, to lose an habit, because we tend to fall for our traps.

laziness is first, and it’s one of the many things we have.
I myself tend to avoid things too, and writing (lately) has been on of those things, but I know I shouldn’t.

Keeping up with what you preach and promise is part of how you define yourself and your integrity and it builds up the way you “live” the world.

If you ignore this and let the slack grow over you you’ll end up being a version of yourself you didn’t expect.

what makes friends differ from each other

Warmth.

How much warmer is their hug? How vulnerable it is?
That is my difference, how I look into the relationship.

A hug, the way they greet me and I greet them. The way I try to connect silently with no words.

The way I think of them is all about the way our bodies interact, not what we say, but how our “start/finish” behaviour is.

There are so many different hugs, so many ways of saying goodbye, and you can tell the difference.

You can spot a bad moment in their life just by looking at how they greet you when you come and go. How much they hug you strongly, how personal the kiss on the cheek is.

Some take distances, some do not.