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Month: July 2017

the courage to live your life

I was at a friend wedding last saturday.
It was a hot sunny day and there were lots of guests at the wedding.

It wasn’t deadly hot like it is today, but the sun was still doing its job at making us sweating.

The friends of the bride & groom are a big, enormous, group of friends. All tied together by the same small city they live in, by the same history.

They played together, they all stayed together, when they were young.

I knew few of them, they’re all nice people.
And in this group, now with moms & babies, there was once a couple that after staying together for something like 10 years, after all that they decided to break up.

I suppose it wasn’t easy, I suppose it did take time. But here they were at the same wedding, both with their new partner.One of the old couple partnered with another person of the big group.
The other found a partner outside it.

I thought how hard it must’ve been to handle all this, to reach this point of  calm when everything is fine. To live your own life.
And in this, you must have a lot of courage, because the road you once walked is now lost and to live your own life you have to go into a new unpaved road, a road you don’t know nor understand.

A 100% mistery road with an unknown destination.

It takes courage to do this, and it takes courage to show up in the same group and finding the strength to make all of this happen, this kind of “we can all be in the same group without destroying it”.

Yes, maybe they aren’t the same friends as before, maybe they don’t look at the stars together.
To me it’s always strange to see them apart, although now I understand that they weren’t meant to be together. I felt the difference.

But aside from this, I highly respect both of them for being able to live this kind of life, to go the unknown route and sticking with it without looking back.

what did anger gave you

What did anger gave you?
A present, an ideal for a better world, a solution to your problem.

Anger gave you an easy way out, a fast lane to go and follow your dreams.

Anger gave you the opportunity to fullfill your todo list in terms of revenge.

Anger gave you lots of things, but can you take that away from you or did it become part of yourself?

make critics privately, show appreciation in public

This is my first rule and it has been a rule since a lot of time ago when I understood the consequences of critizicing someone in public.

I learned it on my skin, firsthand, because I was the one taking the blame. It was in the beginning of my career and I was young and inexperienced. 

I didn’t understood its value until a friend told me that it’s better to critic privately, because what rarely happens in the cases when you blame in public is that you don’t excuse in public too, but you excuse in private.

That was my first encounter with this “way” and I never let go ever since.

As I would expect I failed a lot. Some times I still reacted in public when a blaming was made in public, and it’s hard to take the blame and be silent. Not because we should be shut, but because reacting in public is something very few people are good at.

Today I criticized a collegue, she’s a nice and gentle girl, but she has yet to grasp some rules to improve her perfomance. 
I kindly took her to a room and explained not what was wrong, but what she (and all of the team) would gain from a change in her behaviour.

I hope she didn’t take it bad, and I surely hope she will grow from this.

One thing that it’s always undervalued about the idea that we should be the leading example is that the world often can’t keep up.
We will always see people that will blame in public and excuse in private.
We can’t avoid this. 
What we can avoid, though, is the way we act.

marketing in the world of friendship

A friend of mine asked to promote his facebook page.

Mostly because I have “many friends”. Now, this isn’t something that worries me. I’m not a famous person, so I can honestly say that when he told me “many” he meant “much more than me”. 

I’m not relevant for this, yet he thought that I could somewhat guide all my friends into liking his facebook page.
My reply was fast and immediate, and I asked him for some reason about the page. 
What does it do, who should benefit from it and so on.

He still didn’t reply but the point is that this is an old issue.
You can’t expect people to promote your product with noreasoning. We want reasons, we want benefits and that is not going to change.

Either a product delights us and make us dreams so much that we buy it, or the product solves a problem dear to us. There’s no way out.

The idea that simply promoting it and it’ll skyrocket is useless.

the hidden macho

All men feel the need to be a macho, but only some of them are able to put that aside and show a different side of the story, the sentimental macho, the man that loves and has emotions.

The man that cries, that opens up to show his vulnerabilities.

Such man is a different kind of macho. Maybe in the short term the classic macho will rule, but in the long term? You want emotional macho all the way.

you can die from sadness

Many people say you love hurts, love kills. You can die from love. Too much love will kill you.

But in reality sadness kills. 
Today the singer of Linkin Park died. Seems like he killed himself and I cannot stop wondering why, what profound level of sadness did he feel to justify a suicide.

I’m not a fan of suicide, I think we’re better off living our life to the fullest, but I am sorry to hear that he felt like he’ve got no other option than to kill himself.

He got the money, the fame, and yet… it wasn’t enough. 
When people say that money helps they forget to put into the equation what money brings.
Stress, first of all.

I can’t understand that feeling, this is an obvious limit of mine. While I do understand sadness, I can’t imagine a kind of sadness that deprives you from all the interest in the world. 
I think we’re not strong enoug, not strong enough to sustain our goals or to know when to admit failure.

You either change, accept failure, or die.

the beauty of summer

We’ve become so accustomed to having air conditioning that we totally forgot the beauty of summer.

Yes, that hot, sticky mood, the sweat, the mosquitos.

All of that is summer.
It’s so strange that, during summer, we’d like a different weather, more like the beginning of autumn.

What I’m saying is: enjoy each moment, given hot or cold, because each and every one is beautiful and unique.

outside the confort zone

A dear friend of mine had some issue at work today, and I helped him. He felt out of control, but in the end everything was under his control.

The tricky part about each and every “trip” outside of the confort zone is that you think you’re done. There is no way out or hope.

After you stepped outside of the zone, though, you learn that life is much more complex than that, there’s a reality, a solution, a new way to see the world.

And while it might not change a thing in the end, you’ll still survive.

70%

What’s your energy on a bad day? 

If you had to think on a scale from 1 to 10, how would you rate it?
Today it was a bad day for me, I felt unproductive, overwhelmed by tasks I needed to finish. Beaten up by some wrong choices.

My vote was 7 out of 10. Which some might rate high, but it’s a big low on my personal scale.
But you know, everyone is different, so it’s fine.
Let’s talk about wrong choices for a moment, though.

Today I promised a friend to go to their bachelor degree, but I planned a meeting forgetting it and so I couldn’t go.
On the same day I forgot about the meeting and choose a TERRIBLE outfit to go to the client’s office.

Wrong choices, my fault. Some might think “bad day”, but in fact it’s not. 

It’s up to us to make it good or bad. Faith might play a role here but it’s up to us to decide what to do with it. 
Good day, or bad day? You choose.