Home » Archives for October 2017

Month: October 2017

we rush only in the end

When I was a student I was lazy. I didn’t study until I reached that point of no return when it was unavoidable and I had to study.

This often translated in a mixed performance, sometimes good, sometimes bad, in the final votes.

I didn’t lost this attitude entirely, I’m still lazy, but way less than before.
Today I was visiting a friend’s father when I realized that we rush with people too.
We could talk with them, ask them how are they doing, yet time passes. Time flies and we don’t even care until it’s too late.

Until it’s time to say goodbye.
In that moment we try to do our best, our intentions are wonderful, but we forget all the times we were not present, all the time we lost because we didn’t care.

I was speechless, not because of the situation, but because I didn’t have words to share.
I talked too less in the past, and that led to this moment when I couldn’t find a word to start a sentence.

Yes, I’m good when I write, but that is no excuse.
I didn’t build a baseline with him because I wasn’t there in the past and this resulted only in the speechless version of myself.

Time is not precious by itself, time has a value only when you spend it well.
Make good use of your time, but more than that, make a good use of the time around the people you love, the people that inspire you, the people that left a trace in your life.

Don’t let them become part of your final rush. Make them part of your daily, slow, life.

how much a thought stays in your mind

When you’re angry, when you’re sad, when you want to buy something. There are thoughts that linger in your mind for a long time. They steal your time, making you unable to do more, to think more, to live life.

It’s partly what it’s usually called distraction, but it’s also way more than that.

Those thoughts are our demons. They’re invisible, yet they threat us, they’re powerful, yet we think they do no harm, causing our defenses to go down.

It’s hard to let go. To understand that the world will still rise even if you lose.
And there’s no hiding.
Wherever you will go there will be someone you’ll hate, someone that’ll make you sad, some new object to buy.
We can’t escape life, but we can learn to manage it.

get what you want

Sometimes  it may happen that you get what you request. While it seems obvious that you’re the winning side, this doesn’t always translate to that. 

In fact, long term consequences are far from what you expected. It’s like when we, as humanity, try to take decisions on what’s best for nature. Which species should survive even though they were about to be exincted. We save them only to discover that saving them caused consequences and is about to destroy another part of the world.

We’re not prepared for that because we’re not able to see the consequences but only to perceive the short term benefit. The easy win.

But life is not made of easy wins.
and the battle we lose are always more than we wanted.

the unexpected behaviour

Today my girlfriend called a call center, and something went wrong. Something she didn’t expect.

The natural consequence was that she was angry because of this.

But why is that? She had an expectation that was broken, not because of her but because of “the system”. and the system didn’t allow her to behave like she was used to, and this lead to her going crazy.

What if we react to these changes by accepting them instead of repelling them? By accepting that they are part of this world in this new way. Because, truth to be told, there’s no way we can change them.

running together

I have to admit that I didn’t value that much running, let alone running together, but I have to say it: it’s great.

Great, but not for the reasons you might think.
Right now many people run, and what often happens is that they get a couple of experiences through running. One of them is that their brain is more relaxed because of the effect of the “drugs” released by their body because of running.

It’s quite common to want to repeat this experience because of this sensation. It’s much like a drug, and as many humans, we fall for it. We start repeating it because we love it, bla bla bla.
Instead of thinking “what can I do to achieve this status outside running?”

I’m digresisng

The second part is that people experience a growing distance, during running, between them and their problems. They feel afar, and thus they end up worry less.

Right now, running for us has a different effect. Since it’s a very relaxed run, we often talk, take it easy. We get to enjoy the autumn trees that are slowly changing their colors from a bright green to a luminescent yellow. We get to see the stars, or even animals running free in the nearby “forest”. 

It’s not running, it’s enjoying the world, and that’s the reason I love it. Enjoy the world with the person I love is one of the best things I could wish for.

the conspiration against you

There will come a time when a sequence of actions made by the people around you will look like they are conspiring against you. That you won’t get the right attention.

You’re just unlucky. That’s it. No other reason behind it, no one is going against your tide, even if it seems, even if it might seem so.

How many times you felt like what you were trying to communicate didn’t get across the other person? 

They always got it wrong.
Now you’re the one getting it wrong. You’re the one reading between the lines where there’s no story to be told.

From time to time the world will set up a trap for your mind.
Fall for it, and you’ll be in despair.
Survive, and your toolkit will be greater than before.

planning a trip

We’re planning our DIY honeymoon in chile and what blocked me the most are distances. Chile is soo damn big that it’s hard to plan a trip in that country.

Planning for arrival and departures given that a bus can incur in any kind of issue, problem whatsoever. 

It was way easier planning a trip in japan than chile, there the times are much more clean and defined and it’s easy to decide. 
The strange thing was that this whole planning thing was quite stressful. It kept hanging in my mind for a while. I kept thinking and getting back about it.

Now we have mostly finalized it but I miss the fact that many places are missing.

Maybe we’ll see them in the future, maybe not, who knows. But in the end I arrived to the conclusion that I shall do a more “free” trip. No booked hotels, no booked buses. 
Only the departure and return date.
What’s in the middle will be the story to tell.

the cleanest way to hide

Yesterday I put a collegue under a bit more pressure mostly because I needed her to realize the value of everyone in the team.

I talked first with her, then with other people to shed some light onto this issue. Then at the end of the day I noticed that she was keeping some distance when talking.

I’m not the smartest in the room, but my empathy works really well.
I knew she was a little upset, and although I didn’t put her under bad light, I knew she needed to understand the reasoning to not make confusions on why I did this.

So the next day I explained to her my reasoning and what was causing the issue. I already told her the problems, but I wanted to clear up what was the goal and why it was important.

She told me she didn’t have any issue and she was fine even yesterday.
But I’m sure she was not.
And here’s the thing: We have been accustomed to hiding rage or let rage explode.
Confrontation, trying to discuss a difficult topic, is another thing.
It takes courage, it’s the long road. Confrontation is not easy, and it’s hard for both parties, but in the end it’s the best way.

I’m sure she was upset about something, but she didn’t told me. I’m sure my behaviour was not 100% but I didn’t get any information about it.
This way there’s no possibility for me to correct, and here it lies the main issue with “keeping it for yourself”.
Talking about problems might be difficult and requires lot of self control to avoid abusing and being abused by the rage, but in the end it allows all the people to grow, if they want to.

Not telling it intestead it’s one of the easiest way to hide and run from the battle.

learning to run

These days we’re testing out C25K, a method to learn how to run 5km without stopping.

I’m not a runner, but I have to admit that each time I tried, I failed ūüėÄ
I have the right muscles but I break easily. Probably because my joints don’t keep up with muscles.

That said, this method has a very progressive curve that allow me and my gf to try it without any big issue. It’s fantastic. Which leads me to the point: learning is a step by step process.
Each time you shortcut, you’ll break something.

september 2017 monthly recap

September was a suuuper-lazy month yet I’ve wrote something ūüėÄ

why it was lazy? I think it was mostly because I always tried to wrote when going to bed and I often was exhausted.

In this month I’ve also started a new bodyweight program which I hope it’ll give me some nice improvements in the long run.

That said, here are some of my faves