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Month: November 2017

black friday crazyness and the issue with getting into the right box

Today is the black friday, a day made for spending money.

People all over the world wait for this day so spend a loooot of money.
But to me this black friday was different. I used it to unsubscribe to all newsletters.

And it was magic.

Because during black friday eveyrone is doing some sort of promotion so you always end up with the inbox clutered with tons of email. I think today I received 20, 30 maybe.

And guess what? I unsubscribed.

I realized many of the newsletter I was waiting for did only steal my time, didn’t add value and, to be honest, didn’t interest me that much.

The other problem with black friday is that if you’re the one sending emaisl for marketing you must know how to get past the noise. How can you attract attention so that your email gets read.

I favour much more spontaneus “black friday” days made up by companies to avoid this issue, like amazon prime day. It makes things easier.
Maybe they are harder to remember, but if you care about a brand, a shop, or a product, maybe you’ll be more interested in buying afterall.

what goes wrong comes around

There are so many things in life that can go wrong, and enough that will go wrong.

We can’t avoid them, we can’t foresee them, we can’t do anything about them except accepting them.

We might be angry because they happen, but in fact we might be even more surprised of what happens when we don’t get angry. 
We might lead the way., inspire, be an example to follow.

urgent tasks are unicorns

What is a urgent task? It’s a task that cannot be postponed, an action that requires your full attention right here right now. No delay allowed.

It’s something you must take care of now, not tomorrow, not in a five minutes. Now.

It might happen though that we think some tasks are urgent. 
Maybe ’cause our boss is pressing us, maybe ’cause a customer is pressing us, maybe because we lost track of where your project is going.

But there are not so many tasks that require that much attention.

In fact, urgency is often dictated by a misunderstanding, by some wrong priorities.
Almost anything can wait, can be postponed or planned later, we can almost always find a quick fix to manage the temporary waiting for a better solution.

Real urgent tasks are in fact very rare.

advice through questions

One of the hardest thing when people ask your advice is to truly find a way to help them.

When someone comes to you and wants an advice more often than not they do this because they miss some pieces of the puzzle. They lack information or realization of that information, meaning they need to clear up their mind.

They have too much chaos and need to select which kind of information is good and which is useless.

One thing I love doing is asking question. This has some nice side effects. First of all, it doesn’t put me in the condition of “I know it all, you know nothing”. Which, by the way, it’s impossible. I don’t know a thing, let alone about other’s people problems.
Secondly, it allows the person asking for help to dig a little bit on their issues.

For example, a basic starting point is “What is the problem?”, which, by the way, seems like an harmless question, but in fact it’s always unanswered.

Why? Because the answer is rarely the real answer.
If the answer is “I’m depressed”, ok, we got it. But that is a consequence. Not the problem.

A good answer is “I’m depressed because I feel like my relationship is not working out the way it should”.
This is good also because it opens up another question. “How do you expect your relationship to be?”

And so on.
Maybe the questions will lead up to a clear path where my opinion isn’t needed, or maybe I’ll get a better understanding and have some ideas on how to help.
Whichever comes first, it’s a win-win.

 

what lies in the past

I remembered of a dinner we went with my gf. It was couple of years ago and we met with this friend of us and another girl.

I am always the one that don’t remember events from the past, but in this special case I was the only one remembering it.

I wonder why they all forgot about it, how we end up deciding what goes into our long term memory and what doesnt.
But more than that: How many moments we lose because of this? How many events of our past are now vanished, disappeared from our history, only because we didn’t pay attention, we didn’t live the moment?

Too many.

the courage to do

It’s easy to blame, to consider the obstacles, to talk about how hard life is.

It’s harder to live it, to change it, to work in spite of everything, to show up and have the courage to do your thing.

Each day, ignoring each wall, each problem, finding a workaround to all the madness, the fear, the will to be lazy.

cheap and easy

There are things you can buy for cheap that are worth more and things that you buy for cheap that seems to be cheap, but they are in fact more expensive than others.

It’s hard to realize which one belongs to the right category, the only way is to test, even the common, even the simple, even the extreme.

the trick to a magic phrase

Today me and my GF went to find a dear friend who also happens to be one of those people that always has a catchy phrase ready for you.

One of the oldest he gave us was “we’re made of the things we love”.

Today we went visiting him to talk about our wedding and he gave us another phrase which sounded like this

“In life you have 10 closed doors. The first 3 can be opened with 2 virtues”

The virtues are Humility and kindness. The trick is that in fact all the doors in the story can be opened with these 2 virtues.
Would the phrase be catchy if he told us 
“In life you have 10 closed doors, and you can open all of them with 2 virtues”.

Nope, the negative space in the story adds magic, and even though in the end this is a trick, it’s a great one.