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Month: July 2016

the day my mother found my poem again

It was a day like many others, I came home and knocked at the door of my parents that were living on a different floor of the building.

I only wanted to say hi.

My mother was making some financial calculations for the company she and my father owned.
The light of the sun dimmed slowly in the background, hiding behind the hills in a slow motion dusk.

It was summer and it was hot.
She was in the kitchen, and my brother wearing a light shirt was drinking some cold water.

Her eyes glanced upon me when I entered (my brother opened the door) and smiling she told me “I found your poem for me again”.
She didn’t lost it, but she treasured inside a small box.
The paper was a little bit wore off, showing the signs of the time.

And there it was, my poem. The one I wrote many years ago when I tried to learn how to write them.

I read it again, and instantly realized that it was full of emotions, full of promises, full of the love of a boy, the hidden love of a man.
It was struggling and beautiful, not beautiful in a sense that the poem deserved popularity, but in a intimate sense.

It had a deep connection, and although it was not a piece of art, it was my best and it was still good.

She said to me ” It was so beautiful ” and I understood it. She was right.
And it was beautiful not because of the writing, but because it was a sincere dedication to the love between us.

That day I realized that words can stay in time, and from that day on I started writing more words, not for me, but for the people around me.
Words expressing my feelings and my wishes for them, because I hope one day we’ll all open that small box, in the dim light of the dusk, and remember the good old times telling us that we too, experienced the beauty of life.

making contact

There are people that touched us. I believe that’s quite sad to be apart from them, and although life might have gave us different routes, we can still be in touch and ask, learn and connect.

Side thing of the day: Sometimes you have to consider trash part of the work you’ve done before, because it was too light and not deep enough (referring in this case to the whole work I did on Achieveyourbetterself. It was an hell of a work, but looking back I realize that although effective now I consider it outdated)

the memories you forget

Few weeks ago I remember talking about an email I accidentally found out after a few years. It reminded me of the old times and so on.

Today I understood the importance of having a journal, even if small, to remember things.
There are so many events in a year, so many things to remember to make life memorable that we should track them somewhat.

It’s important to remember, because even the best minds tend to forget.

don’t treat you well when you’re feeling down, do the opposite 

Today I took a nice coffee at the bar below. I was a little stressed out because of work and I though “I need something good” and I took a coffee.

From an external perspective this seems great, but then I realized that if we add these reinforcements whenever we are a little bit stressed then we both reinforce the need of “candies” and we consider the stressed situation a tolerable condition, which shouldn’t be.

We should be fully stressed with no way of diminishing the effects.
This way we would understand the full implications of being stressed, of loosing the sensitivity to life and so on.

If we calm down our stress, even for a few minutes, we forget what life and work with a purpose is all about: having passion.
Not a passion of “doing the work you dreamed of”, no. It’s enough to love the work you do, even if it’s not your dream job.

But if we don’t feel the stress we might forget it and accept the situation and we honestly shouldn’t.

Our body reacts to pain, and so should we.

external judgement

There is quite a big difference from taking choices and giving advice from the outside of something and from the inside.

When you’re inside we are often moved by ego, ego controls us and makes us stupid.
We are less objective and more subjective.

Which is the exact reason why we aren’t often able to do lifechanging choices.

That said, it’s also hard to avoid pinpointing the “I told you so”, when something happens. It’s easy to feel like this would be useful, but it’s not.

empathy and death

Today the mother of a colleque died, ant it was hard even for me. Not because of her death, but mostly because of the empathy I’ve had towards him.

I could feel his pain, and it was noticeable. I was almost crying.

At my granfather funeral I wasn’t crying, but I felt this sadness inside. I did my best to be the one staying up and resisting, because it was so hard for my grandmother I didn’t want her to be burdened by this too.

My collegue told me one thing: We live only for the work, and that’s bad. I think (and hope) he realized how much time we actually waste on work when we could do more.
not slacking, work is indeed needed, but we can stay much more time with the ones we love, the ones we care about, and we should.

It should be on our priority list.

no blueprint

A friend asked me to write something for his wedding, in a booklet they’ll give to the people attending the wedding at the church.

I’ve never wrote something like this and my first instinct was to google something to get an idea of what to do, what they expect, and so on.
I then realized that there couldn’t be a blueprint for this, an instruction set.
There is no right way because it doesn’t exist.

It’s new, and it’s scary because no one knows how to do it, so it’s like a first time.

At the company I work for there are some young people learning to program. They’re young and inexperienced and they often ask question about “how to fix things”.
And while I have the answers most of the time sometimes I don’t, and in those cases there are no blueprint or stackoverflow posts to help me out.

In those cases we are the one finding our solution, our fix for the first time in history. There is no background, no connection, it’s a newborn child that we must find and teach.

It’s scary because you are alone with yourself, and sometimes I forget the beauty that comes with this immense power of being the one without the blueprint.
The creativity sparks, the energy flows not because it’s new, but because it’s your damn job to finish this, to find a solution, to find the solution to the riddle.

It’s easy to forget it in a world full of YouTube videos about everything.

Today I am grateful that I was able to remember that there are things with no blueprint, there are things you must do when you don’t have the slightest clue of what should be accomplished and how, and in those moments you do it anyway and you learn that this is the way life was (partially) built.

There were no blueprints millions of years ago, and all worked out great.

women’s lights and the reality of disco

A dear friend taught me a not-so-profound lesson on women one day.

He told me that sometimes you watch them and they look so beautiful, but that beauty is because you are distracted by the lights.
If you’ll look closely they won’t be so beautiful.

But which lights? He was referring to make-up and nice dresses.
They distract, they hide, they improve. And it works.

Given the fact that, as a man, I’m inclined of not taking a long look at them (since I’m not a stalker), it’s easy to fall in this trap and be tricked.
And it’s not that they want to trick men so much, it’s just the way the social world is right now.

Aesthetics play a big role in today society, it’s important, it’s relevant, and it’s the core of flirting (and this way before I even existed), so I’m ok with it. But you have always to think twice.

Then there’s another topic related to this. Yesterday I was at a club and we were dancing, and I recalled all the times we went into a club with my friends (men and women). Sometimes people would flirt with our friends, sometimes not.

I looked at all the people in the club and realized that we are all the same. They are all a group of friends that went to dance in a club.
With their stories, with their love, with their hope to meet someone new or to leave at home the bad news.

Whenever you meet someone, whatever the situation, remember: they have their story, like you have. Don’t treat them worse because you don’t know their stories.
Always treat them as if their stories matter to you.

the harsh truth

I realize I’m quite uncomfortable in saying the harsh truth, although many times I do say it, when it’s really a complex matter, I tend to oversimplify things to make things easier.

I realize this doesn’t help anyone and I should probably say it.

I talked about this in the past and I recognize things might change, because now I realize that we must be clear and not ease our difficulty in telling the truth.

I am scared of the outcome, but the opposite outcome might be even worse