• only now

    I’m currently trying to live more in the now, this requires (for me) a strikingly high amount of attention and dedication because my mind will always try to move towards the past (things I’ve done) or the future (things I need to do).

    One of the side consequences of letting only the “now” in, is how you handle some emotions.
    If you are truly devoted to living only in the now, it’ll be hard for you to have resentment over something.
    Resentment lives in the past and there is no past in the now.

    Past becomes a tool, an amount of information you can use to move forward.

    Future is instead only a plan, not a constant plan.

    I have to say it’s not easy for me to live more in the now. I fail. And fail. And fail again.

    But the rare times when I succeed, what I get back is worth it.

    There’s a scene in spiderman: no way home, that resembles how I feel when things work out the way they should do.

    Octopus has been healed by spiderman and the first thing he says is something like “The voices, they’re gone”.

    That is my experience too, when I am able to live entirely in the present there are no voices, there is no fog. Only now.

  • what’s the use in trying?

    If you’ll ever start meditating, even a simple breath meditation, you might notice that you’re terrible at it. That you will fail constantly.

    What’s even the use in trying doing it if these are the results?
    As you’d expect, though, it’s normal to fail. As we do in many many areas of our life, the first times we learn something we are terrible at it.

    But some goals highlight the failure much more prominently.
    That’s why you feel you’re stuck in the same place with no results, whereas you’re actually doing small improvements. Those small improvements needed to move forward.

    The hard thing about this is that those improvements won’t show for a while. They need some critical mass to show some real results, even if the improvements are real.

  • social FOMO

    FOMO = Fear of missing out.

    Did you ever thought “Oh, I wish I could speak like them, or be funny like them”.
    Some people in your circle might be better than you at something in the social part.

    It could be speaking, making other people happy, etc.
    Does it matter? Everyone is different, there is no standard, there is no minimum requirement to be friends, and even if there was, you were already accepted.

    Who you are is already more than enough, and what you bring to the table might be entirely different that what other people bring.
    Sure, you can wish and desire to be more funny, or even practice it, but don’t forget that you probably already do something else, invisible to your eyes, that other people are also wishing for.

    And they probably thing “Oh, I wish I could do that like them”

  • you’re different

    Everyone is different, that is a fact. We do also know that we all share some similarities, things that we can correlate between each other.

    The things we like, the way we think, the way we see the world.
    Most people have a similar alignment on these topics.

    Some do not, and it’s only by chance, or comparison, that they discover this.
    Think about the sight. It wasn’t until the paper (journals, etc) came to be that people realized they were short-sighted. Some could read perfectly, some could not.
    Until then, nobody cared and nobody knew because they didn’t have a way to compare (or to say it better: to measure) their sight.

    This is true for many things, like how you breathe from your nose, how you think, etc.
    It’s not about being special, it’s about understanding that individual differences that are hardly noticeable until you start measuring it.

  • good ideas, bad ideas

    It’s not always sunny. There will be days when your mind is foggy, there will be days when your ideas won’t be special.

    We are not made to reach peak performance every day, to go to the extremes.

    Quite the opposite. The shallow days are a fundamental part of having great days because they give space to your mind and body.

    Some days you’ll have good ideas, some days you won’t.
    Some days you’ll write great posts, some days you won’t.

  • control your attention

    Managing your attention might require time and effort, but it’s worth it.
    In an economy where attention is the new money and the goal is to steal your mind time, then being able to direct your attention correctly is not easy.

    It was never easy to begin with, but now, with the increasing technologies that ask us for input, reviews, comments and interactions, we’re left with a new skill to develop in our future: Attention awareness.

    Being able to discern and track where our attention goes, what’s requiring it for marketing purposes and where it’s truly needed.

    Sounds simple, but depending on how you consume information and use smartphones/apps, it might be not.

  • taking a stand

    You might get lost in the arguments, but there are times when taking a stand is important.

    “Have strong opinions, loosely held”, this is key, as it was said many times before. Be bold in your intentions, but kind towards others.

    Be open to different points of view and question the assumptions.

    And when you feel you ruled out any option, when you feel it’s a matter of values and not ego: in those times, take a stand. 

    Make a point, clarify with kindness what you believe in.

  • “healthy” is everywhere

    You might be tempted to think that the word “healthy” applies only to food.

    But if you stop for a second and envision the meaning of what “health” is, it might be possible that you will see other ramifications of that meaning and where it applies.

    Once, in a gym, a coach told me: Exercise is like flossing, it’s a way to keep us clean.
    I would add that both are healthy choices, since both contribute to our health.

    Is meditation healthy? It sure is.
    Reducing phone usage? Dressing with clean clothes?

    Striving to find ways to care for our healthiness is good, but the word healthy would not express its full potential if we use it only to food.

    Food can help, food is critical, but it’s not enough. 
    Healthiness is part of our entire system, mental, physical and emotional.

  • regaining lost focus

    Recently, I started getting into meditation again. One of the surprising things about meditating is the number of failures you can have during a meditation.

    Basically, even if your goal is to only stay still and not think, you’ll fail.

    It’s a never-ending failure, yet it’s the practice that you need.

    Usually when we fail we get burned up, but the whole point here is to start again and continue. What we do want is to learn how to get back on track.

    Even if we fail, even if we didn’t achieve more than 1 minute focus.

    Becoming angry is undoubtedly the opposite of what we need, and there’s no shame in failing. Failure, in this case, is healthy, and is part of the progress you need to endure to move forward.

  • are we becoming distracted?

    Lately I’m wondering if, by any chance, I have ADD or not. I realized I find hard to focus in some moments and I got to this conclusion also thanks to some people that I know that are affected and greatly benefitted from medication.

    But I’m, wondering: Is this also a result of our lifestyle? Of our constant context switch thanks to smartphones?

    One of the advices you see online is to do more meditation, which has a whole set of benefits.

    If you look a it, doing meditation, aside from the spiritual part, also means training again your mind to focus, to learn the joy of staying instead of moving. 

    Which, in turn, is the opposite of our current lifestyle of notification, switching apps, etc.

    Are we increasingly becoming distracted by how our world is evolving?