Come on, give me the chills https://comeon.givemethechills.com Thoughts about changing, life, and whatever. Sun, 17 Feb 2019 22:13:36 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.0.2 81760688 a taste for excellence https://comeon.givemethechills.com/a-taste-for-excellence/ Sun, 17 Feb 2019 22:13:36 +0000 https://comeon.givemethechills.com/?p=2167 Are people addicted to success? Yes they are. But what they are also addicted to is another thing. It’s like when you first shop parfums. You’re clueless. Then you start knowing the brands and buy more expensive stuff. Then you get into the niche market and you discover a whole new world of possibilities. Yes, […]

The post a taste for excellence appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
Are people addicted to success? Yes they are. But what they are also addicted to is another thing.

It’s like when you first shop parfums. You’re clueless. Then you start knowing the brands and buy more expensive stuff.

Then you get into the niche market and you discover a whole new world of possibilities.

Yes, they’re highly priced and yes, not all of them are worth the price but you can’t go back to buying cheap stuff now that you know what excellence is like.

The post a taste for excellence appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
2167
short form, long form https://comeon.givemethechills.com/short-form-long-form/ Wed, 13 Feb 2019 21:17:30 +0000 https://comeon.givemethechills.com/?p=2165 There are some concepts that require a broader spectrum to be understood. They need to be explained more deeply so that people can understand them.  It’s the limit of the short form.. The short form convey a message, the long form convey a format.

The post short form, long form appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
There are some concepts that require a broader spectrum to be understood. They need to be explained more deeply so that people can understand them. 

It’s the limit of the short form.. The short form convey a message, the long form convey a format.

The post short form, long form appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
2165
learning isn’t optional https://comeon.givemethechills.com/learning-isnt-optional/ Mon, 11 Feb 2019 18:48:05 +0000 https://comeon.givemethechills.com/?p=2162 If learning isn’t on your priorities you’ll probably plateauing very soon. Your knowledge can’t expand if it’s not influenced by new thoughts, ideas, people. Let them come. accept learning, add more things and keep what you like. Not in a struggling “I’m not enough” thought, but in a more open minded “what can I take […]

The post learning isn’t optional appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
If learning isn’t on your priorities you’ll probably plateauing very soon. Your knowledge can’t expand if it’s not influenced by new thoughts, ideas, people.

Let them come. accept learning, add more things and keep what you like. Not in a struggling “I’m not enough” thought, but in a more open minded “what can I take back home from this” where everything can be a present, and nothing is a lost game.

The post learning isn’t optional appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
2162
out in the wild https://comeon.givemethechills.com/out-in-the-wild/ Sun, 10 Feb 2019 21:51:50 +0000 https://comeon.givemethechills.com/?p=2160 I managed to finish writing a small book that I’ll made opensource later this month (I hope) and so my first idea was to share it with some close friends to see how they reacted. One of them kindly replied with some concerns and what I realized is that I made a big mistake. His […]

The post out in the wild appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
I managed to finish writing a small book that I’ll made opensource later this month (I hope) and so my first idea was to share it with some close friends to see how they reacted.

One of them kindly replied with some concerns and what I realized is that I made a big mistake. His concerns had some valid points but the reason he was showing them didn’t come from the contents. It was connected to the order of chapters, one thing I totally missed while writing.

This is the beauty of putting things out in the wild. You learn what works and what not. You fail, but you also get to play another round.

The post out in the wild appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
2160
difficult conversations https://comeon.givemethechills.com/difficult-conversations/ Sat, 09 Feb 2019 09:35:12 +0000 https://comeon.givemethechills.com/?p=2020 There is one amazing book I always advise reading which is called “Difficult Conversations” of “Douglas Stones”. It’s a book about talking with people when there is a high stake for both. In case you’re angry or you’re discussing a very complex and hot topic. What I learned through that book is that when we […]

The post difficult conversations appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
There is one amazing book I always advise reading which is called “Difficult Conversations” of “Douglas Stones”.

It’s a book about talking with people when there is a high stake for both. In case you’re angry or you’re discussing a very complex and hot topic.

What I learned through that book is that when we start discussing we should always be truly open to listening their point of view, learning how to also repeat in our words what they said.

Why repeating is so important? Because if you need to repeat in your own words you need to do two things

  1. Listening
  2. Actively listening

Which basically is what we don’t do in a conversation like that. We tend to listen only to argue against. We listen to find flaws in what we hear, not to understand their point of view and see where it does match ours or where it comes from.

Simply by listening you can have a totally different impact on any complex conversation you might have.

Remember: Listen to repeat, before sharing your point of view.

The post difficult conversations appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
2020
how to blame https://comeon.givemethechills.com/how-to-blame/ Sat, 09 Feb 2019 09:30:38 +0000 https://comeon.givemethechills.com/?p=2019 Don’t blame. End of the story. Nobody likes being blamed upon. If you really want to get an insight of why a person did something wrong ask questions. Why you did that? What was your reasoning? What did you expect? Did you considered that X might happen? This will lead you to understand him/her and […]

The post how to blame appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
Don’t blame. End of the story.

Nobody likes being blamed upon. If you really want to get an insight of why a person did something wrong ask questions.
Why you did that? What was your reasoning? What did you expect?

Did you considered that X might happen?

This will lead you to understand him/her and his/her position will be much more open than in case you started blaming.

The post how to blame appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
2019
show off your vulnerability https://comeon.givemethechills.com/show-off-your-vulnerability/ Sat, 09 Feb 2019 09:28:25 +0000 https://comeon.givemethechills.com/?p=2151 “The world doesn’t revolve around you”How many times did I hear those words and yet I didn’t understood them. We have been tricked. Tricked into thinking that a one man band can be possible. Tricked into thinking that we can build a billion dollar social network in a night, tricked into thinking that we can […]

The post show off your vulnerability appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
“The world doesn’t revolve around you”
How many times did I hear those words and yet I didn’t understood them.

We have been tricked. Tricked into thinking that a one man band can be possible. Tricked into thinking that we can build a billion dollar social network in a night, tricked into thinking that we can do it all by ourselves, that you alone are more than enough, that your value will be seen.

It’s not like that. Our value doesn’t shows _by itself_. Our value is what we give to the world, how much we empower it, how much we allow it to grow.
What we could do by ourself is miserable. It’s a tiny little thing.
What we could do with others can be enormous, gigantic, infinite.

Why then, we focus so much on ourselves? Ego first, fear second.
These two great enemies hide one of the key elements of our life: Vulnerability.

They are the reason behind us not asking for help, hiding our errors, not saying I’m sorry, etc.
Vulnerability is something we are not used to. We’re more used to see men and women show off their skills, never asking for advice because, if they did, they’d be considered weak.

But guess what: People can understand your reasons if you explain them without blaming others.
If you make an error and explain with honesty what went wrong and what you’ll do to fix it, they’ll get it.

If you share your struggle people are inclined to help.
Yes, you might find that one in a million asshole that will take advantage of that vulnerability moment, but it’s part of learning who you’re talking to. It’s part of life.

Start sharing your vulnerability, asking for help if you’re struggling and sharing your difficulties. You’ll find out that people still do care.

The post show off your vulnerability appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
2151
the no complain rule https://comeon.givemethechills.com/the-no-complain-rule/ Sat, 09 Feb 2019 09:06:12 +0000 https://comeon.givemethechills.com/?p=2149 Complaining is a thing we love doing. We all complain a lot, for work, at home, for whatever futile reason we have the right to complain and we do it without thinking twice. Yet, when people do complain to us, we’re scared, angry, we feel bad.This doesn’t teach us anything, and even if we have […]

The post the no complain rule appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
Complaining is a thing we love doing. We all complain a lot, for work, at home, for whatever futile reason we have the right to complain and we do it without thinking twice.

Yet, when people do complain to us, we’re scared, angry, we feel bad.
This doesn’t teach us anything, and even if we have evidence of the side-effects of complaint we don’t have a plan to fix it.

As in many things we can understand why: It’s easy.
It’s simply easy to complain, to surrender, to give up.
Big habits change require time and effort, that’s why they don’t happen so often.

Many years ago I loved sugar (I still do…), but one time I realized that I probably overused it.
Inspired by some findings I decided to do a one month test where I would not take any kind of sugar, even from fruits.

It was damn hard to get past that month. I craved sugar and drinking a black coffee seemed impossible to me yet somewhat I eventually got to the end of the month.

What happened was unbelievable: Every flavor was different. A cappuccino now was very sweet even without sugar, some candies were absolutely horrible.

What that one month did to my taste was “resetting” my tasting profile and it opened up to me a whole new world of flavors.

We can do the same with complaint. Test a one month no-complaint rule.
Not work-only, in the scope of your entire life. Work, home, play, sport, whatever: No complain.

Ask a friend to keep you accountable, a nice way to do this is for you to lend a big amount of money to them and if you complain, and they hear it, you lose the money.

You’ll also need to not complain “in your head”. It would be too much easy to simply avoid complaining while you bash everyone inside your mind, but that’s not the goal. The goal is to avoid complaining entirely.

It’ll be hard, but it’ll reset part of your “go-to” behavior.
Oh, and by the way: If you fail at it, try again.

There was this teacher of improv that once told me this thing: If you were already good at improv you wouldn’t need a teacher, right?

He was right. When you’re learning it takes time until you reach the level you want and until that time you’ll fail, again and again and again. Keep going until you do it, because you will.


The post the no complain rule appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
2149
the confort of synchronous communication https://comeon.givemethechills.com/the-confort-of-synchronous-communication/ Fri, 08 Feb 2019 20:20:09 +0000 https://comeon.givemethechills.com/?p=2144 Did you ever find a collegue tapping on your shoulder for a question, for help? Did you ever had that one person always asking you to come over for a small discussion without even sharing the topic? I don’t blame these behaviours, but we should all admit that they’re shortsighted. Rarely we do need that […]

The post the confort of synchronous communication appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
The post the confort of synchronous communication appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
2144
resetting https://comeon.givemethechills.com/resetting/ Wed, 06 Feb 2019 21:07:14 +0000 https://comeon.givemethechills.com/?p=2142 Today I had to reset my mac. To my surprise the whole restore from time machine process didn’t go so well, so I had to reinstall macos and restore the docs but not the apps.Which leads me to reinstalling each and every app.  It seems crazy but when you start reinstalling everything you begin realizing […]

The post resetting appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
Today I had to reset my mac. To my surprise the whole restore from time machine process didn’t go so well, so I had to reinstall macos and restore the docs but not the apps.Which leads me to reinstalling each and every app. 

It seems crazy but when you start reinstalling everything you begin realizing what was really needed and what not. Many apps that I installed weren’t really used and I noticed instantly they weren’t worth the trouble nor the wait.

It’s much like the wardrobe, but while your wardrobe is visible your apps are not and so it’s only in these cases that we see the difference.

The post resetting appeared first on Come on, give me the chills.

]]>
2142