living with guilt

I feel guilty sometimes.
This usually happens when shit happens, like arguing, like a bad discussion.

I would have never wanted to live a situation like a harsh argue, but who would?
Every time it happens I wonder if I could have been better, and every single time the answer is yes, I could’ve done better.

I believe this is true for everyone, we are the variable in the equation of our life, we are the ones who can make a difference in the course of events, that’s why we can always do better.

But we don’t, and I didn’t.
I just went with the flow, as it has happened many times before, and after that all I got was some guilt.
I felt guilty, I feel guilty.
I feel guilty because I didn’t respect my potential, I let the events decide for me.
Deep inside I knew it wasn’t a good decision, but the outcome was very clear, I chose that over a more human resolution, a resolution that wouldn’t involve pride.

But all in all, I really feel guilty because I lowered down my potential, my energy and what I am and want to be.
I missed an opportunity to become a better human in this world, and that opportunity won’t come again.
There will be others, but that single lonely chance is vanished forever.

I also believe it’s alright to think about guilt and its implications. What other way do we have to improve if we don’t review our actions?

We need to measure ourselves with our best part, and then do the next move.

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