years adds up

What happens when a friend make a move you don’t like? Should you shut down your friendship just because of that?

Some friendships last more than others, some are based on delicate foundations and easily fall apart.

It’s fine. We grow and change our view, what’s important for us, where we wanna go. It’s fine and it’s the beauty of life.

So what: if a friend cuts you off should you be mad? A little bit, but in the end if that is the resolution of a long friendship that slowly died then maybe it’s time to move on. Wish the best like you would do to a person you just met and go forward.

Life doesn’t trace a path for you, each path is fine as long as you’re both happy.

don’t be fooled by money

Meritocracy partly failed because in some instances it created a world where people look at how much money they can make “against” other people, instead of thinking on how they can contribute to the world.

Money hides the honesty and empathy, because it adds a benefit or a malus. And we’re always after money.

Money should be enough to think about making our damn good job, not less, not based on incentives.

rituals vs  habits

I once made a mistake, I used a word for something that wasn’t quite right for that word.
Imaging describing the Sky using the word “Red”. Yes, it’s a color, but it’s not quite right. You need the exact color. Any other color won’t do.

I remember when a person made me notice that “mantras” are something quite important. 
He lived in london, I lived in italy. We were chatting casually, but he posed an important aspect: I was abusing a word.
Repeating a phrase over and over seems like a mantra (because while using mantras you repeat words/vocals), but it’s not.

I also made another mistake: I described something along the lines of “Rituals of love”.
Today, while a friend described the ritual to put to sleep his baby I realized that we both abused the word Ritual.

It’s not a ritual, it’s a habit. It’s a mechanism to ensure a result. Seems like a ritual because rituals are made of repetitions, but it’s not.

As for the mantras, we were abusing a word, and we do it all the times. Our mind make connections between words, and if they create akin conditions, then we feel free to use the words without worrying too much.

But abusing words isn’t the right way. 
Too many times I felt that social networks are removing value and power from our words, and I must admit that we’re all guilty. It’s not the social network fault, it’s us. We misuse words. We abuse words. We don’t trust words enough and we use them without care, without attention, with no real knowledge.

Think more, talk less.

how many tags of today will be there tomorrow?

Will you still be #bestfriends? Will you still share #bestlife photos? Will you be the one tagged into #beaches #paradise #holidays?

10 years from now, will you still communicate this way?
And what will remain of these moments? How many tags will stand the test of time?

I guess tags are a way of partly reaffirming emotions and relationships, a way to establish a sense of belonging and even, for some people, a way to feel superior to others.

They’re limited though. If you consider the sea of emotions, of events in life, if you look at the endless horizons in the world: they can’t be expressed nor summarized.
What we can do is try to do our best to keep a memory.

Tags are partly a way to do it, but I personally prefer words. How would your life change if, instead of posting a photo of you and your sister with #bestsisters or #bestbrothers, you would say to her what you feel about your relation? How important it is.
What would change in your life if you made this conscious choice for each relation you feel “worth tagging”?

the creative state

A dear friend of mine can write some amazing speeches when almost drunk, but in a normal state he can’t get to that level.

I always said that it’s a matter of practice, diligence and so on, that we shouldn’t use this tricks to enhance our writing.
Looking back to these thoughs I must say that in 20 years I still agree with them, although now I would add a little bit more to the topic. 

My friend is right: When he drank an extra glass of good gin he writes way better. So, for him, he has his good reasoning behind those choices.
He definitely tried to write in a normal state and failed.
And I’m sure he didn’t try only once. He’s a stubborn guy. He tried many times.

How to move from this? Well, creativity can be guided as much as any skill in the world. What’s he missing then? He’s missing the link, the ignition, the element that make that creativity spark.

He can try to write, but what he’s really missing is how to enter the creative state.
Right now that creative state is based upon drinking.  

That is the first element, but I’m sure he also uses his drinking to get into a deeper emotional state, to let the social shields down, to not judge what he’s writing.

Those three additional elements are probably keys to his success. Drinking makes them surface easier and I’m sure that if we could work on these elements, he would be able to write amazing things without the need to drink.

Afterall our brains uses neural connections to learn. When we first learn guitar the finger movement is a new neural connection that the brain has yet to automate. Once we do it for many times the brain knows that, when we light up a specific neural starting point, we want to play a C-minor. 
While with the guitar we have a clear path in front of us, here with writing and emotions we have something radically different that doesn’t have a map.

That’s why we have to learn what makes us tick, what makes us enter into a creative state, and by triggering it more often we can eventually learn to summon that state when we need it.

let’s talk about death

What does death means? 

For a child it means losing part of a habit, part of a life. There is no big emotional luggage if you’re small, there’s something more if you’re a teenager.

The hard part of death is filling the void.
We know it’s big, we don’t know how to replaced but eventually it’ll happen.

What seems impossible in the beginning becomes possible in the long run.
And even if this is a reminder that we can fill any void left, a sarcastic reminder of how we can ignore any pain in our life, it’s also a strong reminder that anything is possible. That even the biggest trial can be surpassed, that even the biggest mountain can be climbed even if we think it’s impossible.

Because death, for the people that continue to live, is like that: Believing you can’t do something, and do it without realizing it. It’s drawing the fine line between the illusion our mind create, and the reality our life encounter.

it takes courage to love

It takes courage to do what you can’t foresee in the future, what you know will be painful.

It takes courage to go into a steep road that will take effort and time to complete and might not be finished you.

It takes courage to dive into the unknown.
But what if you didn’t take the leap?
What if it stayed this way.

Would your life be better?

preparing is crucial

If you don’t study for an exam, what will be the result?

Work, life, is very much the same. If we don’t prepare, then the outcome will be the same. Things happen, things we couldn’t foresee, and they happen all the time.

It’s not how, it’s when. And if you’re not prepared, if you only think about the now, then you will be doomed to follow what happens.

how much will you stand for what you believe in?

It’s not a matter of believing in something.
You can believe many things, but only a handful of those deserve the right to fight, to stand up and protect our vision.

It’s all about knowing which are the battle you want to be in.
If there are none, it means your thoughts are meaningless, powerless, because no matter what you say or think, you won’t stand for it.

But if you have some ideas you’d like to protect, are you gonna accept a compromise?
Are you gonna permit an exception to the rule?

It seems riskless, a sane thing to do, but what you’re doing by allowing it is to reduce the value of what you believe in.
If you can settle for less today, you can settle for even less tomorrow.
It’s not a matter of when anymore, it’s a matter of how much.

Afterall beliefs are much like habits. The more you protect them, the more they last.

what are the alternatives?

If anyone tells you that you only got two alternatives to choose from, think twice. 
They’re right, from their point of view, but what’s missing in the picture is that there are countless alternatives, as long as you can imagine them.

The two options proposed to you are just the one they can see, but they don’t count the extra ones you can see, or the ones a friend can see.
You can stretch your mind and find alternatives as sound and as crazy as possible. Things you didn’t consider, things you excluded.

It’s not that your world will only have two choices. It’s just that those choices are the one the people are aware of.

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