Two different questions that might lead to the same answer even though they shouldn’t.
Your job is not you. If you’re a seller, that defines your mask during your job, your expectation, but by no means that is what defines you as a human. You are more complex, more deeper and defined than a simple job.
A job can come and go, does that mean that once we lose a job we entirely lose our definition? Of course not. That’s why even though it might be tempting from time to time to make those two answer similar to each other, they’re not.
Your job is a part of your life, a critical important part that partly defines your success in the job world.
But that’s it. Who you are is another topic.
How do you get an honest review?
Some people aren’t inclined to review things, unless you kindly ask them to leave one, but they will do if they’re sold on the product.
If the product fulfill their needs, if it improves their lives substantially, then a review will be something natural.
If your product is “normal”, if it can easily replaced, if there are similar items with similar values, then don’t expect a review unless you find a workflow to ask for them.
But if the product is worth it, if it has a soul, chances are you’ll get one, sooner or later.
Hard selling is hard. Not because of wording but because when you try to force people to buy something they don’t like it. No one likes to be forced to do something.
That’s why real estate market is so disturbing in some facets.
Today I was talking with a customer and I realized that what I wanted was to share ideas with him, not to sell things to him. That’s a sane relationship, because when you’re in this position you can advice people.
If you always sell things people know that when you propose them to something it’s because you need to sell, not because you care about them.
On the other hand, when you propose less, it will be clear that you put some thought into it and it’s something that should be at least taken into consideration.
We often forget how beautiful is “the zone” that moment when you lighten up your inspiration and produce work.
With a newborn child it’s quite difficult to find a new zone, because that slotted time you had is now gone and you need to find it elsewhere.
But it’s still right there, ready to be taken.
This pandemic is helping us getting a real answer to the question: If you’d live alone or with a few people, would you be able to value the things you have in the right way?
Because once you’re alone on a island you’ll need to appreciate what you have, and you will have only what’s available at the moment.
The pandemic forced us to realize the same things, but in homes we bought, with partners we married, with children we’ve raised.
That is the question, is what we built, something we could live together indefinitely?
I am an optimist, I try my best to see the good side of everything.
When something’s wrong at work, I try to see the good things that come with it. When someone is behaving badly I try to imagine the reasoning to explain that kind of behavior.
But there’s an area where I don’t really tolerate optimism: Business decisions.
And by that I include all work related things, all the things that impact a company or a worker, spanning from the paycheck to the success of company projects to the success of the company itself.
Optimism in that topics sounds like “Oh, the world has 6 billion people, if we can get 1% of them to register we’ll be left with 60 Million people, if we get 1% of them to buy our product at 1 dollar we’ll still get 600.000$“
What’s missing here is the how. We’re only talking about dreaming, not about facts and we do need facts when we talk about money.
How do I get paid? Surely not with “hopes”, we need facts to get from point A to point B.
How do we get there?
Whenever you see too much optimism and not many facts in a business discussion, it’s time to raise a big red flag.
Right now companies are dying to show off their interest for the entire world, their interest in the people etc etc.
Before the pandemic many of them didn’t care, many of the people we know didn’t pay taxes. Now we say that nurses are heroes but their work is (in italy) funded by taxes.
I don’t believe this change is gonna stay still after the pandemic. I believe this is a result of fear. Fear of losing money (for biz), fear of dying (for people).
After this they’ll all come back to normal.
Our hope is that some of them will keep this line, some companies might really change and choose do leave a dent in this big world, because they recognize it’s the world they live in.
Today, while listening to the podcast of Tim Ferris with Gabor Mate I discovered on beautiful thing on addiction that I find extremely fascinating.
Addiction exists to pose a temporary end to a bigger problem. When you’re addicted and you feed the addiction you’ll get some benefits (relax, good mood, energy, whatever).
That is what you’re after and that’s why it’s hard to stop being addicted.
But the problem _is not_ addiction. The source of the problem is something else, addiction is our solution to end part of the problem itself, to suffer less.
Because if we had the results of addiction in the first place (relax, good mood, etc) we wouldn’t need the addiction to begin with.
I never saw addiction as a consequence of a bigger problem, and seeing it like this makes me wonder: of the many addictions (of any kind. Addiction doesn’t equate drug) I’ve had, what were the problems I was trying to hide/solve?
One of the mightiest trick our mind can do to us is to let us believe that we should be seen.
That our actions, our work, our effort, should be openly recognized by anyone.
This need of recognition can rot any goal, because we will fail. Even if we don’t want, even if we’re exceptional there will come a time when we will fail.
It’s not about us, it’s about life itself: We can’t win every time.
When that will happen our need to be seen will be crushed, it’ll be impossible and we will feel trapped by a condition where we can’t succeed.
But the lie is that we are the ones that built that trap.
Fooled into thinking that “To be seen” was much more important than to do our best, than to leave something beautiful behind, we feel for it and started following something ephemeral that is based upon “other people”.
To be seen can be accomplished only thanks to others, not thanks to us, while we could do so much more by focusing on what _we_ can do today-
It’s been a month since I became a father and now more than ever I do understand that some things cannot be translated into words.
The child changes your life, she’ll put you through a lot of troubles but at the same time she’ll be a concentration of love. Your love.
A kind of dedication, of love that you never knew existed before. That’s why a child makes a difference, she makes all the difference in the world.