your job, your life

If you’re struggling with a career choice you can always think about what’s important for you. For some people it is required to have the best job in the world, others need just a job because their life is outside.

It’s mostly a matter of priorities, but sometimes we are fooled by our expectations and by how we continue measuring ourselves against other people.
What we should do instead is measure what we like against what we have. Measure what makes us happy against what we have.

Because what makes other people happy, fulfilled, great, might not be the same for us. We might not need the same job, the same aspirations, the same goals. Our goals might differ, but we get fooled by comparing ourselves with others, we get fooled by their status mostly.

unexpected teachers

I have an old school friend. When we were kids nobody would trust him because he was the kind of boy who’d get into trouble.

He was not that troublesome, he was just more active and more curious than others, which led him to do some things that were borderline, but he never crossed the line of good and bad. He was 100% good and that showed every time.

Yet, many people didn’t trust him based on this prejudice.

When I was a kid I didn’t know a thing about self help, how to improve myself, heck…I didn’t even know if I wanted to improve. Now we live in a world when everyone can theoretically be an expert on some topic. Now we seek advices from the best, hoping that they will give us the secret key, the shortcut, the way to happiness.

We don’t learn only when we want to, though.
It happens that learning can be casual, it can come from things and people you wouldn’t imagine.

I went to my friend’s house few weeks ago. He has a great home, but live modesty. They had a baby last year so their finances might have taken a hit, yet they resembled an amazing couple. Happy, bonded, wonderful.

We talked about the issue with pregnancy and so forth and he then said to me “One of the key things being calm and serene in the family”.
It struck me. I’m always hyper-active, always checking things, thinking about what’s done correctly and what’s not.

He pointed out one critical aspect I was totally putting into my low priorities, and it struck a cord within me.

Today an acquaintance told this phrase (not to me) “Whenever you fail you can’t stop, because sooner or later you’ll need to face that failure. If not that you’ll face a new one”.

Today, also, a friend and colleague pointed out that I was not writing like before.

All these people, they’re reminders, they’re teachers, they’re students.
They were always there, but I didn’t see them, I didn’t hear them.

In a world of self help, of tutorials, of vlogging, trusting the people in our circle seems so old style, yet it is something that can be immensely useful.

Schedule your life

These days I’m reconsidering the power of prescheduling, even for life. Given the fact that I have less time each day, dedicating a part of the night before to scheduling tasks is very helpful because in the morning I have no excuses: I must do them.

When you write something in a short list it seems more manageable than using the same infinite todo list you won’t ever complete and it’s also a great way to keep the momentum high.

we’ve got the same problems

When you’re a child you always think that you will be different. That you want fall for the same tricks as your parents, that you will choose a different route.

Throughout our lives we strongly think about this, we believe in this.
One point we might miss is that we are presented with the same exact choices as our parents.

Not only that, we are presented with the same exact choices as any person in the upper chain of command, our bosses.

While we grow, both in age and experience, we face some similar experience as the people who came before us. The problems are the same and we are deeply charmed by the old solution, the one we saw as kids or as employee.

They feel easy. All of a sudden we forget all that rage and hate.
There’s a reason why some streets are less beaten. They’re harder to walk, it’s harder to get to the end.

In any crossroad we’re faced with the same old question: Will I do the same?
Or will I choose something different?

It’s hard because choosing something different means leaping towards the unknown. It’s hard because while you know the outcome of one choice, you don’t know anything about the other choice.

That’s why some choices are easy and some are hard. That’s why history repeats itself many many times and only a handful of people can be remembered for doing something different.

They too were confronted with the same old crossroad, the same old choice.
But they deliberately choose the less beaten path.

we’re not prepared

I was talking with a colleague about my future child. He was scared as hell “I was always dependent on someone, now having someone depending on me is scaring me. I cannot fail, I cannot show weaknesses”

All in all I think he’ll be an amazing father. He has many talents and he’s a very peculiar guy, with unusual interests. I’m sure these interests will keep the child’s mind sparking with joy.

He felt like he was not prepared for this, but who is? We’re all unprepared and yet even the worst ones succeed. Well, maybe succeeding isn’t the right word, but they won’t surrender, they will raise the child no matter what.

It’s the beauty of the human race: We constantly feel an imposter on this planet, yet we continue to amaze in good and bad things

if it helps you then it’s fine

It doesn’t matter if it’s cheap or expensive. If something does help you getting the job done a being consistent on it, then it’s worth its price.

Obviously we shouldn’t be tricked into thinking that by just buying something we will be better. They are, after all, tools, and as all tools we should be their masters. We should learn and refine the craft, admit our limits, improve upon what we have.

At the same time though we should think of what’s keeping us back, if a small investment can pay us in the long run, if it can add joy, pleasure, is it worth it?

I’d say yes.

better be kind

Jeff besos speech at the princeton is something to look up to.

He writes a couple of interesting things such as “one day you’ll understand that it’s harder to be kind than clever.” and “Cleverness is a gift, kindness is a choice. Gifts are easy — they’re given after all. Choices can be hard.”

or “How will you use these gifts? And will you take pride in your gifts or pride in your choices?”

I wonder when, down that road of gifts and choices, something about the whole amazon thing made him derail a little bit. Allowing people to be used and stressed only to have next day delivery.

losing the rhythm

Losing the rhythm happens. It happens in writing, workout, sports, work, relationships, love and friends.

It happens in every imaginable field. The whole point is to not fall for it. Once you lose the rhythm start again and again. Each and every time for each and every failure.

human speed

Productivity is often linked to speed. We think that speed is the only factor.

I, for one, am bothered by slow actions and slow people. One of our customers is very slow using the mouse and I think he could improve the overall speed by learning some keyboard tricks and so on.

This speed thing, is not only software related. In music, when you learn, you keep having this desire to do it faster and you can see many successful musician doing “fast plays”.

Is it all there is?

No, speed is not enough because speed will always have a limit: you.

Productivity and value are not only linked to speed, that’s why slow people can achieve immense results. The person I told you about before? He’s one of the best in his field. I never met someone on his leve, yet he is slow.

Speed doesn’t equal results, it’s only part of them.

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