From time to time you’ll hurt others and it won’t be directly your fault. In those cases think twice.

Learn.

Some times you can learn a new way of empathy, some times a new way of reaffirming yourself.
Beware of the reaffirming ghost though. We tend to do it too much because we like the power it gives us, but it’s not real power, it’s an illusion.

If in doubt, try to learn empathy.