Lately, I needed to change the way I eat because of some persistent stomach burn.

I intended to do this anyway, controlling my eating habits better is healthy, and it’s also a nice way to train my self-control.

So, it all started. I started eating more slowly, trying to be the last finishing the meal and to be present while eating, enjoying the different facets of flavors in the food.

I’ve started having less food on my plate and not taking food again after I finished.
Not only that, but I stopped drinking alcohol and pretending desserts at the end of the meal.

And then it hit me: How many things I did that were unnecessary?
Before this, if someone asked me: Do you want a dessert? I would’ve said Yes.
Now, I’d probably say No.

Of course, I would love to have it, but do we need it? Is it a requirement? Of course not.
All of this is part of the story we tell in our mind, on one hand, we might think “Oh, this is such a nice dinner, it’s been a while since I went out to dine, so I’ll take a dessert too”.

But as you can see, it’s not required per se. It’s just a story we tell ourselves. Yes, we could think of it as self-care, but I’d say the benefit to learning to say no more frequently outweigh saying yes.

Saying “No, thanks”, to our mind, or people asking, helps us control what we actually want.
To me, saying no allows me to understand that frustration, FOMO, sadness, that comes when I miss something. It happens even for a dessert, as if it was something important.
Except it wasn’t. A missing dessert is not a missing opportunity, not in life, not in a dinner. 
Afterall, it’s just a dessert.