you’re always risking and you might even change yourself in the process

Today I was angry, not that I wanted to, but I felt very frustrated because I couldn’t be effective in helping someone do his job.

It’s sad I know, but in this whole process I tried my best to stay true to my values, to treat people accordingly with all the good I can, to explain my reasoning and never be aggressive.

It’s easy to be aggressive, to shout. It’s the shortcut. And sometimes it works perfectly, which leads you to the conclusion that it’s an effective method.

But it’s a risk, a gamble.

Few days ago I was talking to a dear friend about emotions and feelings. He thought that being angry was ok, that there was nothing wrong with it because it’s part of the range of emotions that you have, so you should express it, he said.

I, on the contrary, believe that negative emotions shouldn’t be expressed because they reinforce their behaviour.

He told me that love was in the same league, but I couldn’t explain why not.
Thinking, few days later, I realized that he was right on the last part.
Love, anger, etc, are all in the same league.
They are changing emotions.
The more time you give to them, the more you let them influence you.

That’s why expressing rage it’s a risk, a gamble. Because it changes you in a subtle way, and you might not even recognize yourself in a few years.

The more you give to it, the more you change.
I did my best to stay calm and understand the situation. When I got home I realized I was really stressed out and I needed to pause and reflect.

If something’s not working the best thing you can do is always to pause and look at the situation from a different angle. Approach the problem from a different perspective.
You enter in the “What if” world, where you consider each and every one of the possible “what if” until you hit the right one.

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