envy will change you

I am envious by nature. I don’t think of it as a stable part of my character but something I should work on.

This characteristic allows me to see many of the faces of envy.

Envy is often hidden, is something that burns within your stomach.
You don’t have a right name for it, because it just stays there, but there it is: envy.

You might not even realize it’s there, that’s what makes it so powerful.
If it ain’t there, why fix it in the first place?

After it stays in your stomach for a while, it might need a voice, your voice.
This is very similar to gossip, in fact I think gossip is somewhat related to envy itself.
Anyway, envy tries to talks through you.
You would like to express something, but that thought isn’t yours to begin with.

Envy, and many other negative emotions, try to take control of your body, of your voice.
They express through you invisibly.
And while this happens you think this is the right thing to do.
But tell me, every time your pride told you that you had to declare your rights, did it lead to a positive resolution in the future?

Negative emotions are simply negative, there are no ways they could be helpful to you, yet they persist.
They persist more than we do in real life (which is a shame).

Personally what I found helpful in improving this dark sides of my character is to not allow them to speak through me.
I guess it’s a first step, because obviously the optimal result would be to not think through me.

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