make critics privately, show appreciation in public

This is my first rule and it has been a rule since a lot of time ago when I understood the consequences of critizicing someone in public.

I learned it on my skin, firsthand, because I was the one taking the blame. It was in the beginning of my career and I was young and inexperienced. 

I didn’t understood its value until a friend told me that it’s better to critic privately, because what rarely happens in the cases when you blame in public is that you don’t excuse in public too, but you excuse in private.

That was my first encounter with this “way” and I never let go ever since.

As I would expect I failed a lot. Some times I still reacted in public when a blaming was made in public, and it’s hard to take the blame and be silent. Not because we should be shut, but because reacting in public is something very few people are good at.

Today I criticized a collegue, she’s a nice and gentle girl, but she has yet to grasp some rules to improve her perfomance. 
I kindly took her to a room and explained not what was wrong, but what she (and all of the team) would gain from a change in her behaviour.

I hope she didn’t take it bad, and I surely hope she will grow from this.

One thing that it’s always undervalued about the idea that we should be the leading example is that the world often can’t keep up.
We will always see people that will blame in public and excuse in private.
We can’t avoid this. 
What we can avoid, though, is the way we act.

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