Yesterday I put a collegue under a bit more pressure mostly because I needed her to realize the value of everyone in the team.
I talked first with her, then with other people to shed some light onto this issue. Then at the end of the day I noticed that she was keeping some distance when talking.
I’m not the smartest in the room, but my empathy works really well.
I knew she was a little upset, and although I didn’t put her under bad light, I knew she needed to understand the reasoning to not make confusions on why I did this.
So the next day I explained to her my reasoning and what was causing the issue. I already told her the problems, but I wanted to clear up what was the goal and why it was important.
She told me she didn’t have any issue and she was fine even yesterday.
But I’m sure she was not.
And here’s the thing: We have been accustomed to hiding rage or let rage explode.
Confrontation, trying to discuss a difficult topic, is another thing.
It takes courage, it’s the long road. Confrontation is not easy, and it’s hard for both parties, but in the end it’s the best way.
I’m sure she was upset about something, but she didn’t told me. I’m sure my behaviour was not 100% but I didn’t get any information about it.
This way there’s no possibility for me to correct, and here it lies the main issue with “keeping it for yourself”.
Talking about problems might be difficult and requires lot of self control to avoid abusing and being abused by the rage, but in the end it allows all the people to grow, if they want to.
Not telling it intestead it’s one of the easiest way to hide and run from the battle.