Good intentions

I remember when my grandpa died. I got the news through a call phone from my mom, I was in car, heading to work in a client’s office.

Just like many other examples my grandpa died after a glimpse of perfect recovery from an illness. He died few weeks later, when nobody would’ve expected it.

Those where the times when “Where the hell is matt” was still a thing, and what he did to me that video was to inspire hope, a boundless hope that humanity might still be united under one ideal of love. So utopian and so beautiful. The songs for those videos are all made from the same 4 chords, in similar sequences.

Those chords are what I’d call “pop emotional chords”. They touch something deep within you.

That day I listened over and over that song, trying to keep in my mind that yes: this death shall not be useless. I will make the best of my time, I will be the best person I can.

What I wanted was to mark that day, to be a lead for my grandpa, to make him proud of who I would become.

I remember that after a few days from the death my eyes stop on a book. It was the last book my grandpa read, I hand it to him and retrieve it before his death.

He told me he loved that book. I said to myself that I’d read it, as a token to my grandpa, but I never did.

It occurred to me many times, yet I never even tried to open the book or to take it off the shelf.
Good intentions do not always become a reality, they are just lying thoughts, idealistic ideas of our minds. They can become a reality, they have the power to do it, but we do not always allow it to happen.

At the same time we do not become bad people if we don’t succeed in our good intentions. I still try to be the best person I can, I fail almost daily, but I try almost daily. And though it can’t be considered a success worldwide I know for sure that this is what a good intention into action is.

I will read that book one day, but for now that is part of the idealistic thoughts that come through my mind and I accept that I’m no worst than yesterday, but no better than tomorrow.

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