After having a child, some people start feeling they’re not “free anymore”.
As if they’re trapped somewhere they can’t escape.
Freedom, as many other things, is partly a state of mind. It’s the gap between what I want to do and what I actually do.
Note the fact that I’m saying “what I actually do” and not “what I’m allowed to do”.
Why? We often choose to do something, we spontaneously limit ourselves.
As a result we feel like our freedom has been taken away by the children.
“It’s the same though”, you might say and I would also partly agree, but if we look closer I’d also add that this feeling of not being free is also a gap in adaptation. It’s like being used to drive sports car and then buying a utility cart and expect they work the same way.
They do not, and we adapt to that, there’s no freedom missing. We knew it and we can drive the utility car just as well.
When you miss freedom it’s worth asking: What am I missing? What’s the thing I want to do that I can’t do it anymore?
By going deeper into this question, by understanding which choices led to this moment, you might see what’s the things you truly miss.