Category: Blog

There is quite a big difference from taking choices and giving advice from the outside of something and from the inside.

When you’re inside we are often moved by ego, ego controls us and makes us stupid.
We are less objective and more subjective.

Which is the exact reason why we aren’t often able to do lifechanging choices.

That said, it’s also hard to avoid pinpointing the “I told you so”, when something happens. It’s easy to feel like this would be useful, but it’s not.

Today the mother of a colleque died, ant it was hard even for me. Not because of her death, but mostly because of the empathy I’ve had towards him.

I could feel his pain, and it was noticeable. I was almost crying.

At my granfather funeral I wasn’t crying, but I felt this sadness inside. I did my best to be the one staying up and resisting, because it was so hard for my grandmother I didn’t want her to be burdened by this too.

My collegue told me one thing: We live only for the work, and that’s bad. I think (and hope) he realized how much time we actually waste on work when we could do more.
not slacking, work is indeed needed, but we can stay much more time with the ones we love, the ones we care about, and we should.

It should be on our priority list.

A friend asked me to write something for his wedding, in a booklet they’ll give to the people attending the wedding at the church.

I’ve never wrote something like this and my first instinct was to google something to get an idea of what to do, what they expect, and so on.
I then realized that there couldn’t be a blueprint for this, an instruction set.
There is no right way because it doesn’t exist.

It’s new, and it’s scary because no one knows how to do it, so it’s like a first time.

At the company I work for there are some young people learning to program. They’re young and inexperienced and they often ask question about “how to fix things”.
And while I have the answers most of the time sometimes I don’t, and in those cases there are no blueprint or stackoverflow posts to help me out.

In those cases we are the one finding our solution, our fix for the first time in history. There is no background, no connection, it’s a newborn child that we must find and teach.

It’s scary because you are alone with yourself, and sometimes I forget the beauty that comes with this immense power of being the one without the blueprint.
The creativity sparks, the energy flows not because it’s new, but because it’s your damn job to finish this, to find a solution, to find the solution to the riddle.

It’s easy to forget it in a world full of YouTube videos about everything.

Today I am grateful that I was able to remember that there are things with no blueprint, there are things you must do when you don’t have the slightest clue of what should be accomplished and how, and in those moments you do it anyway and you learn that this is the way life was (partially) built.

There were no blueprints millions of years ago, and all worked out great.

A dear friend taught me a not-so-profound lesson on women one day.

He told me that sometimes you watch them and they look so beautiful, but that beauty is because you are distracted by the lights.
If you’ll look closely they won’t be so beautiful.

But which lights? He was referring to make-up and nice dresses.
They distract, they hide, they improve. And it works.

Given the fact that, as a man, I’m inclined of not taking a long look at them (since I’m not a stalker), it’s easy to fall in this trap and be tricked.
And it’s not that they want to trick men so much, it’s just the way the social world is right now.

Aesthetics play a big role in today society, it’s important, it’s relevant, and it’s the core of flirting (and this way before I even existed), so I’m ok with it. But you have always to think twice.

Then there’s another topic related to this. Yesterday I was at a club and we were dancing, and I recalled all the times we went into a club with my friends (men and women). Sometimes people would flirt with our friends, sometimes not.

I looked at all the people in the club and realized that we are all the same. They are all a group of friends that went to dance in a club.
With their stories, with their love, with their hope to meet someone new or to leave at home the bad news.

Whenever you meet someone, whatever the situation, remember: they have their story, like you have. Don’t treat them worse because you don’t know their stories.
Always treat them as if their stories matter to you.

I realize I’m quite uncomfortable in saying the harsh truth, although many times I do say it, when it’s really a complex matter, I tend to oversimplify things to make things easier.

I realize this doesn’t help anyone and I should probably say it.

I talked about this in the past and I recognize things might change, because now I realize that we must be clear and not ease our difficulty in telling the truth.

I am scared of the outcome, but the opposite outcome might be even worse