Category: Blog

I misbehaved in my life, and I’m not happy with it.
I’ve done terrible things, made mistakes, and they’re all there, written in my past.
I cannot change them, I cannot undo them.

They’re there and they’re the trace I left in my early years.
Some things I would’ve like to done them differently while for others I’d keep the same attitude.

And it’s hard. It’s hard living with the consequences if you didn’t like them, but they serve you as a reminder of the price you have to pay for each and every action of your life.

We pay it all the time, and it’s ok.
It’s ok to feel bad, it’s ok to not like it because it’s a reminder for us to behave, to threat people good, to make our choices the best choices we could choose.

Are there things that annoy you?
I do have them, and from time to time I honestly get pissed off because of them.

I’m fragile, meaning that my humor is fragile. Things happen in my life and my humor gets pumped up or down depending on who’s talking.

But if I stop, breathe, and think about it, I realize that this is a good moment to learn, to learn why these things piss me off.

Let me share an example: I have a friend who doesn’t give clear answers and therefore sometimes you ask him a question and you don’t get a real answer, and you’re left with this bittersweet sensation that you were better if you didn’t ask at all.

I am always pissed off by this and the reason I don’t like it is that I can’t have a normal conversation with him.
Now, this is the superficial reason, it’s the easiest to find and the easiest to discuss.

If I ask myself the question deeply I know that the answer is quite different.
In those cases I’m not in a position of power.
And it pisses me off because I’m not the one leading the game.

That is the reason.
I am frustrated because things don’t work out the way I wanted. Which is a nice way of understanding that I still got work to do.

Keep in mind that getting to such answer is not easy. You will always feel like the good answer would be the first one, but it’s usually your ego talking.
If the first answer assumes that you’re right, then it’s probably ego-based.

Getting deeper means seeing the world from a different angle, and in the end question yourself.
This fragility of emotion is your best friend to understand what are the rough edges you still need to fix.

Face it.

Not all moments in life will let you have an easy way out. In those moments keep thinking that there’s always a way out. Sometimes it’s hard to see it, but it’s there.

Think about all the times in the past you felt like you’ve got no choice, now you know that you did have a choice, but you couldn’t guess which one.

Having a way out is all about knowing.

While searching for a new home, I noticed how many people try to sell “the dream”.
I didn’t expect to be so cautious about buying a house, but it seems it is. I put lot of attention and value what people say to me.

One of the things that made me thinking was the “oh, you can use your work savings for this”.
While I might agree that it’s possible, the work savings are there for a reason. They are your backup plan when something goes wrong with the work and to me it’s foolish to even think of using them for something different.

The dream shouldn’t lock you in a position where you can’t do anything else.
To me the dream is a healthy living. Less stress, less fears, more life.

How many times did you wanted to change your life? Many of the self-help books wouldn’t be there if you didn’t think about it at least once.

But how many times that feeling was translated into a real action? and if so, why?
Do we always need some kind of trauma to force us to change or is there a better way?

These are the question I’m asking right now to myself, because I feel like we should change for the better, otherwise there won’t be any option, any future.