the key to relations

What is the key to relations? And more than anything, is there a reason why they go out of control?

Seeing so many different kind of people interacting and how some of them fits perfectly together seems like magic sometime.

I wonder if there’s more than it meets the eye, behind the guys that yells or the girls who’s frightened I wonder if there’s a long deep connection they didn’t knew about and that was part of their life without knowing.

Life is sometime a maze of difficulty made so that you can live in your life comfortably

How to learn

There are many tricks out there that will teach you how to learn, but while one may agree or not about their effectiveness one thing is sure: choose the one that fits you the most.
Don’t only read the benefits but listen to your mind and your body to understand if it’s like the way you do all the things you do, if it goes with the flow.

If it does, it’s time to start learning for real

take it off

To learn, to move forward sometimes you just have to take some weight off the result.

After you start learning you accumulate things you might not need, as if your mind is a house you need to clean it up.

Cleaning it up at first might seems like destroying something.
In fact you start removing things you initially thought were important but now are just useless.

It’s like saying goodbye, so you need to learn how to do it properly without getting emotional.

Destroying part of your work is sometimes a good thing.

stick to the rules

When you are the person making the rules why not follow them entirely?

One thing I noticed about creating habits is that once you miss it once, you miss it forever.
I remember a dear friend of mine saying: “If you start smoking once, than it’s always easier to allow yourself smoke again”.
Or “If you lie once, than the second lie will always be easier”.

He pictured a reality where once the rules (not smoking, not lying) were broken, it was easier to break them again.
If you think about it for a second, it’s true.

If we are the ones who create the rules, we should absolutely do our best to not find a justification for them and enjoy our shame moment.
This way we won’t break the rules again.

the underestimation way out

Underestimation kills personality and adds barriers of communications.
Underestimation as a prejudice, like “It’s the way you always do”

Underestimating others is in some cases the results of us seeking an easy way out.
A simple definition, a clear path.

Too bad life isn’t that way.


walk, and then walk again

Once I was in a beach, and with a friend of mine we wanted to get to a not so near hill that we were sightseeing.

It was distant, I don’t know how many kilometers, but to me it was far.
Like more than an hour.

It was an hot summer day, the beach was full of people and children screaming and we were just walking towards that green hill with trees.

We talked a lot about everything, and I remember myself looking at the hill after a while.
“Man, it’s far, it will take a lot to get there”.
But we didn’t stop.
We continued to walk and talk.

I didn’t have a watch with me, so time didn’t really count.
It was morning and I knew we would have enough time to go back whenever we wanted.

Again, the thought crossed my mind.
“How much till we get there?”
When I lift my eyes I realized we were halfway.
The distance from our starting point was beginning to grow and feel bigger than ever and the space between us and the hill was something “possible”.
If we did it half, we can do it all.

We continued to walk and talk.
It was almost 12 o clock and the sun was high and hot.
We were dripping, but we kept our walk steady and slow, without changing speed.

I remember thinking again about how far it was, but in some moments that thought changed and it became “how near it is now?”
And every step was a step towards that hill, and every moment I realized that we were really near.
That if I run, I could make it in some minutes.

It was within my grasp.

We eventually reached that hill, even though it seemed so far, so difficult, so time consuming.
We didn’t think about time, about effort, about how to get back.

We just walked and talked.
When we get ther we went up to the hill and saw the beatiful sea, and then we covered ourselves from the sun under a big pine tree to get some fresh air.

Then we walked back, it was early in the afternoon.

Sometimes you just have to walk and talk, ignoring all the unnecessary fear from your mind.

the frustration that comes from not being “free”

Freedom is often a choice, that is true today more than in the past.
What strikes me is how not being free adds an incredible level of frustration to my own routine from time to time.

I wanted to take a deeper look onto this, so I thought
“What are the issues that may cause this?”
Here are some

The Need for Respect

We have all been there, there comes a time when we feel that the counterpart has no respect for ourselves or our work.

The first gremlin lies right here.
We want to get respect, to feel big.

The sad part? This need itself means we must grow up.

The Need for Approval

In these modern times work is often a matter of thought and mind.
So when I say “need for approval” I refer to the fact that we value so much our minds that we don’t consider the simplest fact: we might be wrong.

So, we seek approval of our idea or solution, forgetting the fact that we are not perfect, so before pretending to be right we should pretend to dig deeper into our thinking.

Rage or Vengeance

This is a tough one… rage might be a result of the situation, but it’s a very versatile enemy, it just flows back in without you noticing.

Once you start being upset, that single mood will continue to influence your thoughts, therefore changing the course of your decisions from there on.


I for sure feel this very often.

Uncertainty, specially in a field that’s not your true passion, is a pain you can’t wash away easily.

Uncertainty moves the words: I don’t know about it, I’m not passionate to solve it.

It’s like being eager to stay calm.
Something’s not right.


Can unhappiness in other fields of your life influence the others? Of course.
This is the reason behind most of the fights we take home.

Brene Brown talks about this in her course “The power of vulnerability” and it uses the metaphore of us putting on an armor for our day of work and then forgetting to take it off when at home, leaving our vulnerability armor on and fully operational.
Ready to attack any friend or family “enemy”.

so what?

All in all, I’m always more geared towards thinking that some of the frustrations that appear in a work-related environment are all about people and communication.

We, as humans, are excellent at organizing, even the worst people can do it.
But communication is on an entire different level that we, more often than not, prefer to ignore and leave behind.


slowly as possible could be the best solution out there

Every day we get news about a single app that made millions of dollars, a new program, a new tv shows, etc etc.
We are bombarded with information that screams us to be fast, because that’s where the money, fame and happiness are.
If you are fast you can make more money, you can build an empire.

Therefore everyone thinks of that as the solution.
I’ve got an idea, I want to make it as fast as possible so I can make as much money as possible.
That, sadly, is really far from truth.

News Magazines must shows titles that capture the reader attentions, what they sometime miss to include is the full story, the struggle, the slow step.
It’s normal, it’s not an issue, but it’s our job to read behind the lines.

Many jobs, many empires, many digital successes, weren’t built overnight (some of them are, of course, but that’s not the rule).
They were built with a slow, steady pace.

With perseverance and passion.

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