are we bounded to stay the same or can we -really- change?


I wonder if there’s a slightly chance that we, as humans, as people, can change.
Not a change in lifestyle but a change in culture, emotional culture and character.

Many many years ago I was stuck in a discussion with a friend, I was saying that we can all change, while he was saying that we all stay the same.

His argument was that, no matter what, deep inside you’ll always be the same, you won’t change.
You might change how you dress, how you react, but deep inside yourself you’ll still be the same.

After some years he agreed that we all change, he agreed that it’s common, that he too changed and realized it later on.
But what if he was right?

I still think that we all change. That’s why many relationships ends. We change and the relation doesn’t grow with us.
Or the way we change is no more compatible with the partner, so we part ways.

What if (and I’m absolutely fantasizing here) we have many levels of change, some more superficial, some more deep inside ourselves that we can’t even define?
What if those deep waters hide an unchanged version of ourselves?

I always say that we, as grown-ups, have our own Karma. Not from an esoteric point of view (although it is very near conceptually), but from a behavior point of view.
Maybe you’re the type that gets angry too fast, and maybe you learn to deal with that, and you  are superficially changed.
One day you’ll live a stressful day at your job, then come home and you see your partner angry shouting at you.
Then what? How will you use those years trying to not be angry? Will those years be useful or will you just forget them?

A feeling deep inside, in the darkest places of your personality, might just take control.
That old, familiar feeling of you.
The old you.

Suddenly you realize it was there all along, hiding behind the curtains of life, waiting for the right moment.
You didn’t win the war, just many battles and it still stands, it will wait again until the next occasion.

After losing control another time, you might wonder “Did I really change or was I faking it?”
The questions won’t have an answer, nobody has an answer for such things, for as we know you might as well be faking it from the start.

But maybe not. Maybe you did change, but you didn’t change completely.
Maybe there’s still work to be done.

Why did I say “Karma”?
Because this little dark side of you will stay there for many years before it’s gone, and you will have to face its consequences.
If you get angry, chances are you’ll piss off many people, so that’s why I say Karma.

How to fight our dark side?
There’s no recipe for this, but you can be sure that it’s on those moments where you face your old self that it’s the right time.
You have to stay in control, to do what you really want to do, to live through your words.

After years the demons might be still there, and you might not even win the battle in your entire life.
Was it worth it? You might ask.

Feel free to experience your answer.


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