Come on, give me the chills

Thoughts about changing, life, and whatever comes to mind.

Category: Blog

  • asking multiple whys

    It all comes down to getting to the source of the problem. How do you do it?
    By asking why.

    Is it enough? No, usually a simple response is the tip of an iceberg and you can ask a second why, a third why, a fourth why and so on, until you find the answer to your question.

    Could it be answered in the first place? Maybe not, and the reason is because no result is dependent on one single cause. There are multiple causes that create an outcome.

    Even so, we need to ask the question and not be afraid of learning the answers.

  • don’t settle too fast

    One of the things I’ve learned from “The Art of Learning” is that almost all kinds of negotiation will make you uncomfortable and thus you have to prepare for that kinds of uneasiness.

    You need to know that they will try to take you by your worst fears, give you smaller timeframes, and so on.
    And the takeaway from this is: take your time. Go slow, evaluate your options.

    Any negotiation needs time, effort and dedication. Take yours, use it at your advantage.
    Relax, take it easy and be sure that it’s worth it.

     

     

  • what you don’t expect might hurt others

    From time to time you’ll hurt others and it won’t be directly your fault. In those cases think twice.

    Learn.

    Some times you can learn a new way of empathy, some times a new way of reaffirming yourself.
    Beware of the reaffirming ghost though. We tend to do it too much because we like the power it gives us, but it’s not real power, it’s an illusion.

    If in doubt, try to learn empathy.

  • prejudice

    Sometime the hardest thing about prejudice is admitting to have one and finding the moment where the spark ignites the fire.

    It requires attention and humility.

  • the meaning of sharing has changed and it’s not what it used to be

    the meaning of sharing has changed and it’s not what it used to be

    Today we were at a birthday party, and it was inevitable to see people shooting selfies.

    Years ago we didn’t think of selfies, there was almost always someone who couldn’t appear in the photos, or we would use the timer to catch us all. Now we point the camera to us and bang, here you got a selfie.

    I told my gf that selfies somewhat deprive the photo of a sentimental meaning. They often shows “just a bunch of us”, leaving aside all the story, all the memory, all the passion that comes with a crafted photo.

    Once you do a selfie, the natural next step is sharing it on social, right?
    Sharing, what a beautiful word. One of the definitions of sharing is
    “To relate (a secret or experience, for example) to another or others.”
    or again
    “using or enjoying something jointly with others”

    Isn’t it beautiful? Sharing means communion, participation, sharing means let other take part in some intimate event of you.

    When I look at sharing today I feel there’s something missing, and the missing part is that intimate moment, that vulnerability. I miss the fact that we don’t share so many important events or moments, but we share it all.

    It’s also not about sharing with some people, we share it with everyone. People we met once, people we know since childhood, no difference.

    I realized that to me sharing was always about secrets.
    Not secrets per se, but more like confessions.
    Something intimate, private, emotionally dense that was not for general consumption but more for a private one.

    And while I love the way socials are participating into our life, allowing us to connect with people, I can’t think of a single time where sharing in those places had this meaning.

    Sharing in social media is always easy and fast, but in real life it was hard because you had to make a choice and to put on the table what you’ve got.
    In the past sharing meant to make yourself vulnerable.
    Today sharing means to make yourself visible, and the price of it is the quality and the integrity of the relationship that follows.

    We have a choice, a choice to nurture our relationships with a more intimate sharing, with something more human and less derived from the mass.
    It’s all about choosing the less beaten path, the less shiny path.
    Vulnerable or visible? You choose.