Category: Blog

In the past I was sure that reinforce the value that we feel we have was a good idea.
Writing that we are good, that I am so good doing this or that, bla bla bla, could improve your self-esteem.

That’s right, and it’s usually well-documentent. You can find plenty of books that will give you this advice, like tricking your mind that you’re worth it.
And they work.

Right now, though, I don’t feel like they are a solution to the problem, or at least the countereffects might just grey-out all the benefits.

The main issue I have discovered with this approach is that the reinforcement doesn’t happen to let you grow in some cases.
In some cases you continue to trick yourself and this habit is not intended.
The trick yourself moment should disappear while letting a more honest impression of yourself outgrow it.

The thing is: when you truly go beyond this you don’t care and this is not something you can learn from the trick-yourself attitude.

Tricking yourself into giving you a higher value will always revolve around yourself, your ego, your personality.
While this is great, and effective, in the short term it’s not the same in the long term.

How this will work out in the long term depends on your character, on your unexpected life events and so on.
So, if I were to give myself an advice on learning how to improve self-esteem, trust in myself, and learn more, it would be:

_I thought it was important to value myself, but now I don’t care, and it’s way better. Choose to be yourself honestly, live through your value and respect them no matter what._
_This will make the difference in your life_

That’s it.
I now realize it’s not important to reinforce yourself. It might be needed, but it’s much more worth it to live through values, through ideals and through honesty.
If we are guided by great ideals, our value is untouched as long as we are true to ourselves.

If you don’t know what the impostor syndrome is, well, check it out on wikipedia, but in any case the Impostor syndrome can be summarized by the fact that you can’t internalize accomplishment.

“I am not worthy of this” Is probably the phrase your mind uses.

As always, shit happens, and we feel impostor even though we fought for this accomplishment, even if you sacrificed for this accomplishment.

Lately I rediscovered this sensation, to have stole something that shouldn’t belong to me.
I then started writing this article, as I always do, trying to put on “paper” my thoughts.
One thing that was clear after the few lines is that I sacrificed, I fought.
I can recall all the items defining the base of this result that I know have, and all the effects, positive and negative.

This hasn’t removed the impostor syndrome from my mind, I know it doesn’t happen overnight, but it led me to understand that we have some tools up our sleeve that we can use, and recalling the things we sacrificed is one of them.

Not every success come easy.
Life is beautifully complex and so are its results.
Therefore you can find examples of the difficulties you found down the road to your success, you can list them.

That list will be your passport to the so called freedom from this syndrome.
It will be a small start, but the fact that you can prove to yourself that you’re innocent is one of the greatest gifts you could ever have from yourself.
Accept it.

I often think about the “things we do too fast”.
Like eating for example.

How many times did I ate something without tasting it? Too fast to understand its flavour, too fast to perceive its consistency?
Too many.
Two days ago the same thing happened to one of my friends and yesterday while I was preparing dinner, I was strangely present.
My mind didn’t have many thoughts and I was just enjoying the slow progression of actions of preparing dinner.

It was beautiful, but there wasn’t any specific beauty to it.
That clearness of thought, that concentration was the beauty itself.

So, today I realized that many things we experience in life might seem bad or not-worth-it just because our behavior towards them is uninterested.

We don’t pay attention, we move too fast to grasp the essence of every action we do.
It is strange, almost foolish, to think that in such small actions like cooking, reading, moving around the house or whatever you have in mind, is hidden some kind of happiness.
But, nonetheless, I must admit that it’s there, and until you experience this it’s impossible to explain.

This is why I think meditation and mindfulness are so important.

The more time it passes the more I’m inclined to buy “durable” things.
From clothing, to computer devices I started to see the benefits of something that will endure the test of time and will create less disposal and use less space.

I don’t think buying cheap things is bad, I still buy them in many cases, but I came to realize the value of “investing into good things”.
While the cheap things might seem convenient, they trick you into buying more and more and more, making your closet full of things you might wear once a year.

To me, this is not good. I realized I didn’t need that many things, and gave them away.
So, all in all, I believe we should always seek something that will last in every part of our life.

If you think about it, you can compare this also to relationship.
A long lasting relationship is surely different from a short one, it can let you grow in ways you wouldn’t expect.

Although it doesn’t make your closet empty 🙂

Life will change you, people will change you.
The only way you can stay true to yourself is not by trying to be a static character, but to learn and dive into these unsafe waters.

To do that you must follow your dream.

Yesterday I went talking with a person who reminded what the “follow your dream” was about.
It was not about ego, it was about trusting my gut.
My gut seemed to have figured it all, but I couldn’t follow it because I felt unsure.

She helped me realize what was it all along, the value in following our dreams.