the introvert and the world

Lately I’ve started reading “Quiet” by Susan Caine, and it’s such a refreshing experience to read something that doesn’t talk about the extrovert ideal.

I have been an admirer of the self-help world, having also written a small book on the subject, but then I learned also a lot from the experiences which didn’t involve the almighty ideal of the “man who can do everything”.

It’s so nice to see that this kind of view is shared among some other people and has also a book for it, I couldn’t possibly expect it.

The Extrovert Ideal is great, awesome.
Many people I know resemble this ideal, and usually society tends to reward them.
I consider myself to be partly extrovert, but can’t help thinking about how good is to be alone and take my time (not to stay away from other people, but to enjoy my silence and my entire perception of the world).

Many successful people around the world built their fortunes around Extroversion and Aggressive Behaviour (which doesn’t mean they were bad guys, just that their competivity was really high).
Are there successful introverts in this world?

losing things

When we change there will always be something that we lose.

Changing a smartphone, is like losing all, in just one hit.
To chain the user, every platform tries to be unique, without even thinking of a base ground.
But there are couples, families, who would like to do this.
To share without feeling locked in.

To be different, to have each one his/her own way.

Why don’t we help them out?

in search of youtube tutorials

The incredible thing about youtube is that you can find a tutorial for almost everything.

Stretching, working out, whatever you might think of there’s a tutorial on youtube (much like the Apple ad “there’s an app for that”).

What we don’t know is how much effective these tutorials are compared to professional ones.
Still, many times even the “professionals” doesn’t work that much, so better try it.

sharing is caring

Today I created a new blog with my fiancé.
The idea behind it is to share what we see around the world, not only to help us remember where we’ve been and what we’ve liked but to share it.

Also, writing about your trips helps your memory whereas collecting only the photos might not be an effective way to remember what you’ve done.

It’s not the photo, it’s the story behind that.

Memory will fade away, but keeping a small, unorganized journal is a great way to share and connect, both with the one you love and with the people around you.

don’t feed the troll

Warning: caring is important.
We, as humans, need to _care
about what’s around us._

A man approaches to another man and says to him “You’re just too slow in the morning, it’s like you’re still asleep”.
He refers to the slowness at work, it’s a cynic, harsh comment, said with a bit of joke, but nonetheless full of a bit of anger and criticism.
The other man don’t give a damn and continues to work.

Where are you in this scene?
Do you find yourself to be the bad man or to be the victim?
Or none of them?

When we get attacked, when people refers to our capacity to do things, we get very personal, don’t we?

Even a small hint of “You’re not good enough” and we feel like we need to stand behind our rights, to fight for them.
Rage start growing, our mind becomes filled with thoughts one second before didn’t even exists.

Pure ego-magic.

I’ve been there, I can’t even think of a day where my damn ego hasn’t been attacked, and where my mind didn’t wander off, and I realized that we have all different sides where we feel our ego to be weak.

If you don’t care a bit about your hair and style and someone points out that you have a mess up in your head, you won’t probably care.
That’s because it didn’t touch you at all.

But maybe they just talk about your situation at work and you’re up and ready to fight.

We all have different tolerance level for this, and what’s infuriating for me might not be infuriating for others.

Let’s look back at the first scene.
It’s clear that the second man doesn’t care a bit about the criticism he just heard.
Those words were in the area of life he just loved the way it was, he didn’t feel attacked.

We need to don’t care about our ego.
We need as humans to start ignoring attacks, to not ever reply to them, because every response is a fire started again.
To do this one of the best way is to think about the many people who wouldn’t just care.

Not because they don’t care about the world, but because they don’t care about that kind of criticism.
They don’t care about the hidden hints, the implications, the double meaning.

They don’t feed the inside troll.


the rule for failing

Once you fail, a voice will start talking in your mind.
The voice will tell you that you’re incapable, that you can’t keep up, that you can’t succeed.
The voice will remind you of how and where you failed miserably, it will be your eternal memory of fail.

It’s a strange voice though, very similar to the one before the fail.
The one that told you that you wouldn’t make it.

Still, it’s there.
You will start feeling guilty for failing, because that’s what we feel when we fail bad.
It’s our fault after all.

That is a fact: it is our fault.
We are the one that failed, the voice is right and there’s no reason we should deny this.
That guilt, that emotion, will grow in you, and you will feel stuck, blocked.

What the voice doesn’t tell you is that behind that guilt, there she is.
The voice is the guilt too.

There’s only one good rule if you want to fail.
Listen to that voice, trust that voice.

showing up in a bad mood

I more than ever believe that you must show up and do the work even if you’re in a bad mood, even if you are having a headache.

Always showing up will strengthen your will, and will allow you to surpass any obstacle that might cross your way.

we are a family

There comes a time when you start thinking more about family than couple, more about us than we.

It’s a subtle change in vision, but it defines what you will become.
To me has happened recently and it’s becoming every day more important.

It’s moving out of a comfort zone to enter an entire new world, totally unknown.

too much silence

I slacked, again.

Failed to check-in in 3 days for this blog, and it’s bad.
At first I thought I could just pass it on, but everytime I skip the habit it becomes clear how much I’m losing.

It’s like skipping an heartbeat, you don’t quite notice, but it’s a signal that your body is has issues.
And if you don’t fix it, you might die.

Keeping good habit is almost the same thing.
In the routine you forgot why you decided to keep that habit up, and in my case that was “changing, improving, etc”.
Which obviously I’m not doing if I don’t care and leave the habit aside.

So here I am. Let’s keep going-

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